Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My husband blames me for finishing the food in the house?

We both got married 2 years ago and we have a 4 month old. We aren't financially stable. He got let off work a while ago and we don't have a source of income. I would've went out and looked for work if I didn't have a baby to look after. We don't go shopping much and there isn't much left after the week is over. I cook what I can and we eat together. He comes into the kitchen and starts looking at everything and than complaining that he spent a $100 on groceries that week and how we ran out so fast and how I eat all the food and how I've gotten so fat. We eat together by the way. We both eat, he eats more than me but keeps telling me that I'm finishing everything. I feel like he's stressing out because he can't find a job. I usually just give him a break and let him cool down but it's getting worse lately. He keeps saying I'm fat and I eat every single thing in the house and that he wishes he could starve me so I can stop finishing the food. I go into the room and cry because his words break my heart. Hes the one who can't find a job and he's letting out the frustrations on me. I have a 4 month old to deal with on my own, I don't need him to put me down on top of it all. He never helps with his child. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Has your husband filed for unemployment because that will bring in some income until he's working again. Is he actively looking for work every day? Has he tried working for one of the food delivery services for the time being? There are also many companies that are hiring right now. Here are a few of them: https://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/business/T012-... If he can't find work, then maybe you need to go back to work and he can deal with the baby for awhile. He may then have more sympathy for you. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Ah, that's the thing when the sh*t hits the fan, you get to see people's true color.

    I'm not sure what you're asking about, though, since I guess we can agree that your husband is behaving like a jerk.

    But here are my two cents:

    - Seriously consider whether you want to stay with someone who speaks you this way.

    - Learn how to economize when buying food, what to cook etc. I can see you've gotten some really good advice here.

    - Find a way to supplement whatever income you have coming in, don't just leave it up to him (and yes, he will just have to get off his butt and take care of his own child if you were to get a part time job or you were working from home and needed a bit of peace and quiet).

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  • 1 month ago

    why did you eat it all? go eat some grass to have something healthy for a change.

  • hart
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    he opens hes true face

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  • 1 month ago

    Help your husband out or don’t have kids at all

    • really, why do people have kids who can't afford them

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  • 1 month ago

    He’s going through a lot right now, not only because of financial stress but also having the feeling of letting you and your baby down. Talk to him about how he’s feeling, try to understand and be empathetic. When he’s done getting everything of his chest, then tell him how his hurtful words are impacting you along with the added stress of taking care of your child all by yourself 

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  • 1 month ago

    You need to learn how to spend that money better so the food will last. Buy certain foods in bulk such as dried beans and , large bags of rice. Beans can be soaked over night then parboiled for 40 minutes. The dried beans keep well for many months and the rice will also. If you guy cans or packages it is much more expensive. Buy meats and poultry when they are on special and freeze them where they will keep for months. Use discount grocery stores like Aldis or the equivalent in other parts of the country. Use small amounts of meat, poultry or fish which you stretch out by making them in dishes with rice, pasta or beans. Potatoes are very healthy and if stored in a cool dry place out of the light they will keep a long time. Plan your meals so you don't throw food and use everything. You can boil down bones of meat and poultry and fish to make stock for soup or for sauces. You cannot keep flour very long because it has weevils in it but making breads muffins and pizza dough from scratch also saves money and it tastes better than the packaged or frozen equivalents. Learn to make quick bread which is the basis for all muffin, biscuits, cakes and pancakes. They are all variations on the same recipe. Quickbreads are all based on baking soda or and soured milk or buttermilk rising the dough. other ingredients include a little salt and a little sugar for cakes more sugar and shortening oil or butter or margarine. People who are really into it do freeze drying .or vacuum sealing so frozen foods last longer or with vacuum sealing even refrigerated foods last longer. You can also do your own smoking out of doors or make jerky and other similar foods which is not that hard with the right equipment. of course to do some of this there is an initial investment but it will save lots of money in the long run. .

    Stretch out meat and poultry by using small amounts with rice or noodles and vegetables with some good flavoring so have spices and herbs well stocked. If you do not know anything about flavoring buy the grinders that are labled for poultry or chicken or beef and use them. Also you can add cream of mushroom soup as a sauce to either noodles or rice dishes for a tasty dish. 

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  • 1 month ago

    I feel deeply sad for reading this 

    Your husband is abusive and he is the big problem,good couple would support each others through hardships Not the opposite

    I agree with David's advice 

    Try to get divorce, even money won't fix your marriage

    I hope your life get improved for you and your child 

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  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    That is a heart-breaking story.  Two thoughts:

    1)  Your husband is emotionally abusive.  I am advising you not to put up with that.  Do what you have to, to make him stop.  Up to and including divorce, if necessary.

    2)  $100 a week is not a lot of money for three people.  I suggest you investigate the local food banks.  These are places where you just show up (usually at a certain day) and they give you food.  How much food they give you is based on the size of your family.  You say you are a family of three, and they will load you up with a lot of food to take home.   You don't get to choose the food they give you.  However, it's usually enough to make a whole weeks' worth of meals.  So if you take what they give you and carefully plan meals...you might not have to spend any money on grocery shopping.

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    • hello
      Lv 4
      1 month agoReport

      If you are in the United States make sure to apply for SNAP and WIC. These food programs are for ongoing and emergency needs.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Well, keep breeding and you'll get even more government benefits. You can even support a boyfriend on the side who makes you feel good about yourself.

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