Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

My coworkers wife called me to confront me about calling her husband. How should I handle this. ?

As a single woman working in a male dominated field,I do run into some weird situations.I’ve never been confronted by an angry wife before.

I work in a field that requires me to be awake at odd hours.Frequently throughout my career a way of passing information or receiving it I have to contact another coworker(partner).

On this particular night I was off but awake around midnight preparing for my night shift. I had a question that anyone working currently (not my shift) could help with. I called the first person I could think of that was on The current shift. The coworker answered and said he was off work. I apologized for calling so late and was unaware he was off. I immediately received a call from his wife who was angry I called her husband at that hour and said she felt disrespected. She told me to not communicate with the coworker at all. I apologized but she continued to go on about the disrespect towards her. 

I didn’t mean to upset her. It’s normal for me to speak with other coworkers at odd hours because we work 12 hour shifts on the road and if we needed to pass information we’d contact each other if we knew our shift was on. I meant no disrespect to her and their marriage I just thought he was working otherwise I would have never called. 

I work in law enforcement and all of the guys I work with know I have no malicious intent. I am not physically nor romantically attracted to any of them and they respect me as a sister. I want things to be cordial between me/her


To be clear I called in reference to a work related question only the current shift would have the answer to. Me calling this coworker was only based on our work relationship. 

14 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    Just give the wife a call during her waking hours and say you are really sorry for disturbing them and you had sincerely thought he was working when you called.  Then say you will make an effort to make sure people you call from now on, especially at late hours are actually working.  

  • 2 months ago

    It her problem not urs

  • 2 months ago

    Unfortunately there isn’t anything you can do. You cannot control how other people react but you can change your mindset and how you react. 

  • 2 months ago

    You should handle this , as you put it, by making sure you don't call anyone who is not on duty at such an hour.  The wife probably was suspicious of your call, as well as otherwise offended.  If you really want to sincerely apologize, how about sending a gift to the home along with a sincere not of apology. A nice, gender neutral one, like a fruit and cheese basket? You had "no malicious intent" and I believe you. but you really should have known better and should have dealt with the issue yourself, until you could consult someone IN THE WORKPLACE. Enough said.    

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  • 2 months ago

    Don't call her husband again. When you see her, tell her again that you were working in the confines of your job and weren't thinking that he would be off duty and apologize for calling him at home in the middle of the night. Don't txt him at home in the middle of the night either. Those are, as you must be very well aware of in your line of work, real triggers regarding a cheating partner. 

  • 2 months ago

    Just let it go. She has the problem, not you... 

  • 2 months ago

    Well you stated you've already apologized, are you apologizing for calling her husband or are you apologizing for calling her husband at a late hour? If he was working, you would not be apologizing because that's apart of both of your jobs. It's wise to make it known to his wife that you thought he was working, but it's also wise that you know your coworkers schedule so things like this don't happen again. You do not want to come become a laughing stock or have your reputation ruined for a mere misunderstanding.

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If it is not something to do with work,  stop calling married men.

  • 2 months ago

    Personally, I would call her back and say that you called on a work related issue, that he is a colleague and that if you need to speak with him, you will speak with him, and if she has a problem with that she needs to take it up with him and not you. Next time you see or talk to him, tell him the same thing, and then let them sort it out between them.

  • 2 months ago

    Generally it is not polite to call or text a man after 10pm. People will think something is fishy.

    The way to avoid is always double check who is on duty and who is off duty. It is also frustrating to accidentally receive a call while people are having their personal time. 

    I'm sure this is a good lesson learnt. 

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