Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Why dose my husband care more about his x wife opinion' s  than mine? It has been 10 years they have been divorced .?

Example, When she gose on vacation then we can go on a vacation. If she cancles he will too. I couldn't go to graduation of his oldest son because she wouldnt like it.

Yet I help with the children. I take them to the dentist or to a friends house or anything else. Even on her custodial days.


I don't understand why I can't be treated better.

 I have talked to my husband he just says we'll thats there mom and i dont want children resenting me for it.

why should I stick around If I'm not a valued member of the house.

I want to be important too. Am i being selfish?

3 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    It doesnt sound like you are being selfish. It DOES sound like you are being treated as a nanny...even a valued nanny is invited to graduations though.

    Naturally he will want to try and keep the peace with the mother of his children, but not at your expense, all the time. If they both think you are good enough to look after the children, you should also be consulted and valued the rest of the time.

    You need to answer your own question

    "why should I stick around If I'm not a valued member of the house"?

  • Billy
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    You took the decision to take on a 'ready made family'

    I'm not being arsey with you, by the way.

    It is a bit of a kick in the teeth for you, all of this, and no you arent being selfish...but yoy are being used a bit.

  • 2 months ago

    WHY wouldn't you have had this conversation with him? Pointing out as you have here, the examples of where that has happened? That seems the most sensible place to start.  

    But you also need to question IF you want to stay in a relationship where you might never be a first priority. 

    I can understand making changes to plans IF its because those changing arrangements affect the kids' custody/visitations, but still it means YOU can't make plans and be sure that they will happen. 

    But that could happen even if those kids were your own. As a Mum of 4 now adult kids, many a plan had to be adjusted to circumstances beyond our control.

    I get where you might be feeling both used and treated as second class given all you have done for those kids. But take heart in knowing those kids know who was there for them an who wasn't. 

    B R E A T H E. 

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