Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 1 month ago

How should I handle this situation. ?

My boyfriend of a year and 5 months had a one night stand with a woman 2 months before we met the woman ended up pregnant. I found this out 4 months into our relationaship, he been knew about the possibility. When i found out I reached out to her as a woman and she was very nasty. She blocked us on everything and when they were born blocked my boyfriend told him she didn't want anything and don't contact her. My boyfriend has 4 other kids 3 baby mommas with a whole EARTH OF DRAMA. On October 21st I went it to preterm labor and lost our twins at 21 weeks. I am still dealing with that. A week ago the one nightstand reached out to have a DNA test. I love my boyfriend but I didnt sign up to be attacked by 4 women and 6 kids that he can't and refuse to parent. Yes he is in the 4 life but they terrorize my house every week on top of the other stress. I am on depression medicine and I lose my mind a lot. I use to be so calm and collected but honestly I'm hurt that these twins made it but mine didn't. I am 31 and those were my only kids. I need words of encouragement to get me through these 6 kids. If you have been in this situation please offer advice.

8 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I probably would not have chosen him since he doesn't sound like he would have been a good father... why would he have been different with you?

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  • 1 month ago

    As long as you are with this guy, you will be dealing with those four other women and six other kids. If he's not paying child support now, he could end up paying it later -- which could affect the amount of money available to support any children he might have with you. If he isn't paying child support now, why not? Those are his children and he should be a father to them and help support them. If you are tired of the drama and can't see yourself being a good potential step-mother to his kids, then you need to find a man without all this baggage.

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  • 1 month ago

    You're not too bright, are you?

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  • 1 month ago

    You are living women simp

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I don't know how to give words of encouragement in this situation.  I only see more and more drama in your future.  I am sorry you lost your babies, but considering his track record with past women and children, I am not sure what you was expecting from him as a father figure to any children you might have with him.

    At your age - I would have thought you would know better than to even begin a relationship with a guy that already had so many women and so many kids in his past.

    He shows a lack of commitment and a lack of responsibility that no reasonable woman should want to be connected to.

    I do encourage you to leave him.  You will feel much better without all this drama in your life and once you leave him, you have no reason to be connected to any of it.  I can't imagine that he is worth all this considering his track record with women and children.

    EDIT - I seen your comments.  Maybe he did mature late and maybe he is ready to change and have a real life with someone.  BUT - you ALWAYS need to be careful about someone that you have had to CHANGE to make them into the person you need them to be.  In some cases, the change will stick but in other cases, old habits will eventually come out if things get too tough for the other person to handle.  As a general rule - you should NEVER be in a relationship with someone that you need to CHANGE to make them into what you want or need.  

    If you really feel that he loves you and you really love him - then keep working at the relationship.  Also know that you are young enough to try again for a child of your own (with or without him - whatever the future brings).  If he is supporting your emotional needs during your depression - then it is a sign he is ready to be the kind of person worthy of keeping a relationship with.  BUT - if he is pulling away and trying to belittle your emotions at this time - pay attention to the red flags that may indicate he is getting ready to revert back to his old patterns and run when things get tough.  Good luck.

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    • Edna
      Lv 7
      3 weeks agoReport

      Paige, he's not trying to change his life and he's not committed to you. He's still the same loser he's always been. You said he already has 6 kids with 4  different women. Do you want to be Baby Mama Number 5? Dump this guy and walk away from this entire situation.

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  • MissA
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Leave Him. Jesus Christ this isn’t rocket science

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  • 1 month ago

    What is it you love about him?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    < My boyfriend has 4 other kids 3 baby mommas with a whole EARTH OF DRAMA. >

     

    And you are surprised by this latest drama?

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