Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 month ago

How can I reassure my boyfriend?

I’m pregnant and obviously I’m very excited. I’ve always wanted kids. But the thing is, there’s an age gap between my boyfriend and I (19-59) and he’s worried that he’s too old to become a dad again. He’s worried that his age will prevent him being a good dad. I’ve said I think he’s going to be a great dad, but I can tell he’s still worrying. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Your bio says you’re 26 so 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    How fortunate you are that you're 19 and not 16. Or your boyfriend would be facing a possible jail sentence as a sex offender. You sound like you're a very immature young kid with a lot of growing up to do. If that weren't the case, you'd have never given this man- who is old enough to be your father- a second glance, much less gone to bed with him. You won't have an easy life. Once your kid is born, you'll always have the worry about whether your boyfriend (who you are NOT married to) will continue to support both you and his kid. If his health fails( and it could, given his age) then you may be forced into the role of caregiver for him, at the expense of your own life and career. And what about college, pal? At your age, you should be thinking about SCHOOL, not getting prego and raising a kid. Without a college degree, how will you support yourself if something happens to your baby daddy and he can't work any more? What if your kid gets born with Autism or a related disability? It's possible, you know. There is an association between advanced paternal age at conception and the development of Autism in the offspring which is being looked at closely by researchers right now. How do you expect to be able to pay for the special education and other services a child like this will require, if you don't even have a college education yourself??

    I'll bet you've probably never considered any of these things.

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  • 1 month ago

    Hate to say it but statistically, he'll die as soon around the time the child turns ten so he doesn't have anything to worry about.

    • Anna
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      At 69? Not necessarily. My grandma lived until 85 and my grandad until 90 nearly 91. Depends on his lifestyle and health.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    19 and 59? Troll.

    EDIT: No, Anna, age isn’t “just a number”, especially when you’re as young as 19. A 19 year old isn’t even old enough to legally drink in the US yet, and a 59 year old is almost at retirement age. That age gap is EXTREMELY creepy and inappropriate. I assume this question is a troll, but in response to your comment:

    Would you think it was okay for a 19 year old to date a 13 year old? No? But that’s only a 6 year age gap, not a 40 year age gap like 19 and 59. You might say “but the difference is that they’re both adults!”; however, a 19 year old is still technically a teenager, and they aren’t even fully developed yet. Brain development continues until age 25 on average.

    What about a 17 year old dating a 57 year old? I mean, it would technically be legal, since the age of consent is 16 in most places. But is it socially acceptable? Of course not. And 19 and 59 is hardly any better.

    Also, 27 and 50, while still a large age gap, is nowhere near as inappropriate as 19 and 59. The former is a 23 year age gap, while the latter is 40 year age gap. Age gaps don’t matter nearly as much past age 25, which is when one’s brain is fully developed. But a 19 year old is still very young, and for now, should stick to people within their own age range (16-24). A 19 year old dating a 59 year old will be frowned upon by most of society. Even if a 19 year old is legally an adult, they still aren’t fully developed.

    EDIT 2: Even if it’s legal, it’s still not socially acceptable, and a 19 year old is NOT fully developed even if they’re a “legal” adult. In the US, you aren’t even considered a “full” adult until 21, and can’t legally drink, gamble, or buy cigarettes until 21. 18 is a completely arbitrary line that does not scientifically reflect human brain development, and 18 is no better than 16 or 17 when it comes to large age gaps. In fact, the age of adulthood was 21 back in the day, and was only lowered to 18 because of the Vietnam War. There’s nothing magical about the age of 18, and I would argue it should be raised back to 21, since 18 year olds are not mentally or scientifically adults.

    Age starts to matter less and less as you get into your 20’s, but a 19 year old is still a DEVELOPING TEENAGER, and a 59 year old who would be attracted to a 19 year old is considered an ephebophile. The age of consent is actually 16 in most places, but legal does not equal socially acceptable. I question your morals if you honestly believe it’s acceptable for a developing teenager (anyone under 25 is still developing, biologically speaking) to be in a relationship with a man who’s most likely older than her father, although I’m sure this is a troll question.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Good luck with Grandpa there. It won't be so cute when you hit your prime and he's a doddering, drooling old man with a wrinkled ***, low hanging balls and adult diapers. So while he might be a great dad to your child, are you ready for what your future will be?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Once the baby is born, he’ll be fine. Everyone gets worried before the birth.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He's just happy to be doing the young stuff.

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  • 1 month ago

    Another troll story.

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  • 1 month ago

    Worrying about something that isn`t happening yet is dumb. Instead, read books, talk to other dads, get a list of all the things he wants to teach his child. Talk about how you will raise your child. The more he gets involved, the less he may worry. Unless he really doesn`t want the baby and is making excuses

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