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April
Lv 5
April asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 days ago

What is the best way to deal with a nosy family member?

Ok, so I'm in my early 20s and working full-time at a supermarket. Right now my focus is to save money and I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon. I'm very happy with where I'm at in life. I have an older cousin (40s) who clearly has too much time on his hands and is stirring up tension about the situation with things like my occupation/me not being in a relationship, etc.

In the past he sent me job postings for other places and I just said "okay" and brushed it off at the time. My younger sister is graduating high school this year and he posted comments on her Facebook page saying, "Don't screw your life up and take a gap year from university. People who don't go to college are stupid. You'll end up like your sister and never be able to live on your own, etc." (Quite honestly he doesn't have room to talk since he spent most of his life working as a waiter.)It's even getting to the point where he's calling my mom up and trying to instigate things. I find it highly intrusive and insulting. Quite honestly I'm in better financial shape than most people my age and don't feel I owe him an explanation on what I do with my money.

What is the best way to handle this tactfully?

7 Answers

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    2 days ago

    Good Lord!  Why is a young person in their early 20's paying any attention to anything a 40-year-old person (who is only a cousin) has to say about anything?

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  • 2 days ago

    You don't owe him an explanation, ignore him.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 days ago

    just tell him to mind his own business

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  • 2 days ago

    Smile, say 'Thanks, but I'm just fine" and ignore him. You don't need to 'handle' him.

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  • 2 days ago

    Ignore him. If he says something to you directly, smile, nod, and then ignore it. Nothing else will work.

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  • Anonymous
    2 days ago

    I feel so sorry for you, but I was in the same situation as you when  I was 20 but then a 'miracle' happened - let me explain. I was living in my parents house and they were: abusive, controlling and manipulative. I wanted to leave so badly but couldn't do it just yet. In my mind I wanted to save up enough money to move out and be able to afford accommodation without much stress for at least the next two years but then I just had the thought that I would have to keep working so hard just to put a roof over my head. But I also couldn't live there for the sake of my mental health. There was no such thing as privacy in my household at the time; my mum even opened my bank statements. 

    One day, it was just another day so I thought... I received a text message from a guy who I hadn't talked to in quite sometime, a German man, I lived in the UK at the time. He wanted to catch up and we talked over the phone for hours and I told him about my situation in tears. He told me to leave and go live with him in Germany. At first I thought he was crazy for suggesting such a thing, but that's exactly what I did and haven't looked back since. We live a very happy life now. 

    How or why did that happen? It happened because I manifested this life and trusted the universe. I practised the law of attraction and he came into my life. There are plenty of YouTube videos on this and there is this book called 'The Secret' that can give you hope it is also available in pdf online. 

    What can you do?

    It's hard to ignore it but don't think about it and have it as you thought all day. Learn to ignore and forget about it when they say mean things to you. Pretend it never happened. Have that one thing you want to manifest like moving out. Pretend you have already moved out and living on your own, until you get your own place.

    Hope this helps because you can do it.

    • April
      Lv 5
      2 days agoReport

      Cool. Quite honestly, my parents and I are both okay with the arrangement of me staying at home for now. The problem is just that my cousin can't--and won't--mind his own business. He always looks for reasons to gossip about people.

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  • 2 days ago

    I have the same problem. One of my bbrothers is so noisy.

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