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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 6 days ago

Can my mum tell what I can and can't do at the age of 18?

My mum is very strict and tells me when I can eat and what I can eat, so she tells me like i can't eat after 8 and if i want to eat something she will say no and get mad if i do. it's the same with wanting to go out and do certain things. my dad on the other hand basically let's me make my own decisions as he believes I'm mature enough

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  • 23 hours ago

    If you live on your own and do not rely on financial support then she can't tell you anything.  But if you still live at home and/or are receiving help from your parents then yes, she has that right no matter what age you are.  My son lived with me for 2 years from age 35 to 37 and damn straight I told him what to do, within limits of course.  There's a sign I saw that says "Teenagers, tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Move out, get a job, pay your own bills, while you still know everything". 

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  • 3 days ago

    She sounds very controlling - she shouldn't be dictating what you can and can't eat. it could stem from her not having the same control over her life, so it may be that she is trying finally to control something that she couldn't when she was your age. I suggest having a strong (not mean or nasty) but just a talk to really show her how you feel about her demeanor. 

    You will be okay, just be strong and be your own woman. 

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  • 3 days ago

    age of 18 is adult, maybe you should ask her.

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  • 5 days ago

    You can't eat after 8? Why?  Does she at least give you a reason? 

    If you live in the US, 18 means you're a legal adult. However, if you are living with your parents, even as an adult, and they are supporting you, then it's common courtesy to go with the 'rules of the house' if they aren't unreasonable. That would mean things like keeping your room clean. Doing your own laundry, making your own dinners or cleaning up after yourself. NOT--when to eat. And MAYBE NOT what you do when you go out--depending entirely on what that might be, of course. 

    You should be making your own decisions, and you should be policing yourself--your parents should not be. But like I said, if they're supporting you--paying for everything--they are going to be hard-pressed to give up control. That's why adults live on their own. So they can run their own lives. you may have to consider that for yourself. 

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  • 5 days ago

    yes she can  .

  • 5 days ago

    Legally, no one can tell you what to do once you're 18. When I turned 18, my parents stopped telling me what to do and it happened literally overnight. Now you're 18, you can plan your own life, including eating. Now your mum can only advise you on doing something, but not actually command you. Gosh, if anyone told me what to do, I'd tell them to take a hike to Alaska.

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    • Terry
      Lv 4
      4 days agoReport

      Oh YES it certainly DOES, a. I have ALREADY DONE IT. Now it`s MY house. And what I say GOES. I am in control now.  Act like an idiot around me, and I will make it a point to MAKE you comply. It will become my life`s mission to get you GONE. PERIOD! Cameras are GREAT to PROVE your mental illness.

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  • e9601:
    Lv 6
    6 days ago

    You still live at home, so her house her rules. Move out.

  • 6 days ago

    If you live with her, then yea. Seems fair since she had to go through the pain of childbirth to give life to your ungrateful a$$ instead of abortion. And I'm assuming you don't pay the rent, or else you wouldn't be complaining here on Yahoo.

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  • 6 days ago

    Anyone can tell anyone to do anything! Whether you comply or not is up to you. 

    Here are some general suggestions I make to younger teens in case you might get some helpful ideas from them. Ask to have a serious discussion with your parents about how they see things panning out in the coming months and years. It needs to be fairly rational, so if one of you becomes too emotional (e.g. angry) it would be best to time out and try again another time. Prepare in advance what you would like to say and ask: write a plan, even. 

      

    As you reach each birthday, for example, or each new school year, what rights, freedoms and responsibilities will you have? Chores, pocket money, curfews, dating, etc. will all come into it, obviously. You can't really expect something for nothing, so think about what you can put into the family and household as part of your negotiations as to what you can get.  

     

    If you are to grow into a responsible adult, it must be a gradual process: if they keep you wrapped up in cotton wool and then suddenly let you out of the box at eighteen, you won't have enough experience to know how to handle it.  

    That said, your parent(s) is/are responsible for your safety and welfare during this time: no doubt they love you and they themselves have the experiences you don't yet. Seeing things on t.v. and hearing your friends' (exaggerated?) stories aren't quite the same.  

     

    If they don't want to do this, ask them if they will please consider a plan and talk again in a week or so. All plans need to be a little flexible, as unexpected things can happen, of course.  

     

    Hopefully this will show that you have a maturing attitude to your family and your life.   

     

    Good Luck!   

    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      5 days agoReport

      As always, a fine answer from Coach Simon. Several other advisers should be banned, and C.S. should be hired and paid on staff. Good going, Coach !

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  • 6 days ago

    Legally, no. But if you live in her household, you either abide by her rules or you suffer the consequences, whatever those might be. Your choice.

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