Feeling depressed after doing well in college?

I am very depressed. I have been hit with so much stuff over time that I overlook the good things that happen. I’ve had two prior suicide attempts, one in fall of 2016 hours before my birthday and the other November 16th of last year. I’ve been in therapy and psychiatry since I was little but I never genuinely feel happy for long. For example, this semester was my last in undergrad, I got a 3.94, all As and one A- in hard courses in my major and due to my hard work, I was able to get honors in my major which is a big deal because my program is ranked number one worldwide for my major. This is something I’ve been working on for almost 2 years and I accomplished it. I was happy, but everything I do that’s good seems to instantly get overshadowed by the bad. I had a 2.3 freshman year and graduated with a 3.4 *** and 3.64 in my major despite facing racism in some instances at my school. Would have been higher had I not been pre Med for so long, pre Med is notoriously difficult at my school. I have like a 3.0-3.1 sGPA, took all courses except biochem. I improved so that is good, but I feel inadequate like I’m not good enough and I’m not going anywhere in life now that my bachelors is done. I’ve been so depressed that I’ve wanted to hurt myself. I feel like I won’t get into a good school if u pursue education higher? I’m afraid of going to get a real job that isn’t a student position ? What should I do? How do I stop feeling like this and beating myself up? I go to a top 100 school

Update:

“If I pursue higher education, grad school or whatever else”

3 Answers

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  • Lee
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    That's how anxiety is like. You could achieve all there is to achieve in this world and still feel like you're not doing enough. The key here is to try to be rational because your brain is feeding you messages that couldn't be further from the truth. 

    Here's some rationality: You graduated from one of the world's best universities with a first-class honours. From here on, you'll be almost guaranteed a high-paying job and fit comfortably in at least the upper-middle class of society. No matter how bad things go from here, you're already more successful than most people in this world.

    Source(s): I'm in a somewhat similar situation, as I'm currently the top student in my major and my Uni is world ranked no. 11, better than most ivy leagues. I constantly feel like I should be achieving more when I've achieved all there is to achieve as an undergrad
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    • Lee
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      No problem! A lot of it has to do with chemical imbalances in your (and my) head, so you just have to constantly remind yourself to be rational. Facts are facts and nothing can change the fact that you've achieved so much already.

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  • patty
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    my father was very bright and got into uni but he was bipolar and had to drop out. Can u think of a less stressful career eg landscape grdener

    • Reyna2 months agoReport

      I graduated so I never dropped out, so this is kind of unrelated except that he and I both suffer from mental illness. But I’m not bipolar. I have depression and anxiety. Definitely not doing landscape

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Stop being a perfectionist.

    Half assed efforts are usually good enough and most education is bullshit 

    • Reyna2 months agoReport

      You’re right. I am being a perfectionist. I’m sure many ppl would like to be in my position and have my grades. But the depression and anxiety are the main issues I need help with

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