I'm finding it hard to be Christian?

I've been "Christian" my entire life. I was born into a Christian family by two Christian-raised parents, and have never really questioned my faith until really about a year and a half ago. I was "saved" and baptized at 9 years old, however, since then my faith has gradually and substantially faltered. I never really accepted Christianity myself, it was more just conforming with everyone else, however, through my own questioning and recent discussions about it all with a very close friend, I find it extremely hard to want to continue in this faith. 

Through my own research and actually thoroughly reading through The Bible (as well as looking at additional online sources, both atheistic and christian, the biggest for me being Evilbible.com) I've found that I really don't know what to believe. I'd like to have a connection with a God, however, with many of the things I've seen I don't believe the Christian's God deserves praise or that he even exists. I'm simply here to ask for input, if there are any other sources I should look at or if anyone else has any stories of coming to terms with questioning their faith, how they came to either abandon or come to terms with their faith. I would also appreciate if anyone could site specific verses I should study within the bible, whether good or bad.

18 Answers

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I feel ya.  I was also raised in a very strict, fundamentalist Christian family.  I remember doubting the entire story from the very young age of 5.  I remember thinking, "God made the rules.  If he really existed, he could have chosen to not tempt Adam & Eve and he could have made the rules any way he wanted instead of being so cruel".  Somehow I was able to squash those thoughts until age 25.  

    I spent a month on a Christian working farm where we prayed, fasted, met daily with other Christian and tended the farm.  My intent was to strengthen my waning faith and to "work out my own salvation with fear and trembling" instead of accepting my parents' faith.  I highly recommend studying the messianic prophecies, because this is what really showed me how flawed and man-made the Bible actually is.

    For the first time I saw that all so-called "messianic prophecies" are not prophecies at all.  The gospel writers took Jewish scripture out of context and turned them into prophecies to fit the Jesus story after he was developed.  The vast majority of the "prophecies" never even claimed to be prophetic when they were written (like the Psalms) or prophesied events that happened soon after they were written (like the supposed "virgin birth" prophecy, which never refers to a coming future messiah).

    My studies resulted in my disbelief today, and I'm OK with it!  However, if I had my preferences, I would believe again because it hurts my family, and I do miss the church community.

    Best wishes to you!

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 months ago

    Just obey all of Jesus' sayings .

    • scar2 months agoReport

      But.. why? That's what I'm asking

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 months ago

    All I can say to you is; Stop believing the devils lies, then you will see the good that is God. Read these verses. (John 3:16) Romans 12:2) (1Thessalonians 5:15-22)

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 months ago

    There is nothing wrong with questioning the way you were raised and the beliefs of your parents (everyone should do it).

    But, before you abandon Christianity, I would watch these six free videos (just scroll down a bit): https://video.wvbs.org/program/answering-atheism/

    Here are the subjects:

    -Moral Implications of Atheism

    -Death of the Innocent

    -The Bible and Slavery

    -The Biblical View of Women

    -Evil, Pain, and Suffering

    -A Loving God and an Eternal Hell

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 3 months ago

    It sounds like you are saying that you were saved, and then later got baptized.  The Bible requires baptism to be saved (Mk 16:16; 1Pet 3:20-21).

    I only bring that up because you may have been taught all sorts of things supposedly from the Bible that just weren't true.  For example, were you told that God didn't consider the children of Israel accountable for right and wrong until age 20 (Num 14:29; Dt 1:39).  If not you may have felt unneeded pressure to become a Christian at such a young age when you really didn't know what was going on, and it therefore really wasn't your decision.

    As I suspected, I checked out evilbible.com and it's just packed full of lies.  Here's one:

    "examples of God’s irrationality by his direct killing of many people for reasons that defy any rational explanation such as killing children who make fun of bald people".

    Here's what the above writer is referring to.

    2 Kings 2:24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.

    "Maul" is not necessarily killing.  In the Bible whenever someone is killed, the word "killed" is used.  The Hebrew word translated as "maul" can even mean just a paper cut, and the word translated as "boys" could be men as old as 30.  Most likely the text is about God punishing a gang of unruly and disrespectful teenagers (or early 20s) by having a couple of bears rough them up.  God was actually showing love by disciplining those boys (Pr 3:12).

    How about this passage here:

    Mt 25:36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

    Was visiting prisoners ever even discussed in your household?  If not, you should be wondering what else in the Bible was just ignored.

    My point is that if one is trying to follow erroneous teachings, or taught to ignore other teachings, God's word isn't going to have the impact on one's life that it should.  There are a lot of "Christians" who are just like you with little faith, but just stay with it because of the social benefits or other superficial reasons.  Maybe that's your parents.

    If you want to be a Christian strong in the faith, you're going to have to follow the sequence given in 2Pet 1:5-10.  In my experience, where most Christians bog down is at the "knowledge" step.  They'll go decades without ever having read God's entire word even once, and thus are very susceptible to false teaching.  And actually increasing one's knowledge in God's word increases their faith (Rom 10:17).  Last, unless you just want to deceive yourself, you're going to have to be a "doer" of the word and not just a "hearer" (Jas 1:22; ref Mt 7:21-23).  Good luck and God bless.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 months ago

    I was raised in a missionary family myself, and have been Christian as long as I can remember. But I do think that each of us needs to reach an adult understanding of our own beliefs that is NOT based on what we were taught, but rather on what we find in our own hearts. 


    If you've read the whole Bible, then I hope you've noticed that the writers' ideas about God developed a lot over the thousand years or more that the collection of their works accumulated. Different contributors lived in different times, immersed in different community ways of thinking about God and human life and morality (and everything else, really). Quite a few of the later writers were "inspired by God" in the specific sense that they wanted to tell people ways in which the earlier writers got it wrong. 


    This trend continues--in a completely different language!--into the New Testament. Jesus declares (in Matthew 5, part of the Sermon on the Mount) that he has come "not to abolish the Law [the Torah] or the Prophets [the part of Hebrew scripture known as the Nevi'im] ... but to fulfill them"--and then he expresses that fulfillment by restating and completely re-interpreting famous commandments of Hebrew scripture. 


    What I recommend is figuring out what you can still accept of what you've been taught, and what you no longer accept. The Sermon on the Mount is a good place to start, but not all of your ideas need to come from the Bible, or even from Christian sources. But don't necessarily abandon the notion that when you've figured out what you really believe, you MIGHT, after all, find you're still a Christian--just a better one, with more understanding, than you were before. 


    My own sources have included writings by the Inklings (particularly C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Charles Williams) and some other writers, including Dorothy Sayers, Kurt Vonnegut, Robert A. Heinlein, Terry Pratchett, Walt Kelly, Umberto Eco, and Rudyard Kipling. And lots more, but those favorites come to mind at the moment. When I as going through a rough time figuring out my beliefs, two books were particularly helpful to me: "Small Gods" by Terry Pratchett and "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Pratchett. It's not an accident that both are pretty skeptical about some Christian attitudes. 


    I've jettisoned notions of Biblical inerrancy and Biblical literalism. (I had a Bible professor in college who pointed out that taking much of it literally merely led to missing the point.) And I've grown less trustful of church organizations in general, probably because it was a church (where I'd been an active member for a decade) going bad that sent me on my new spiritual journey. But getting rid of junk ideas that cling like barnacles to some Christian groups just helps me be a better Christian. 


    I'm also more willing to look into ideas from other religions, though I can't claim to have been immersed in them enough to be sure I understand them fully. The Bhagavad Gita, the Qur'an, and some writings about Zen have been helpful. Also, my current go-to translation of the Old Testament is not a Christian one, but the Tanakh from the Jewish Publications Society. (Reading the books in their preferred order is helpful for seeing how ideas developed in pre-Christian times.) 


    One of the main things I've learned to avoid is the simple nastiness of Christians who simply regard US as somehow superior to everyone else, and as the only ones entitled to salvation. But more learned Christians than I have understood that as well: 




    Is it not frightfully unfair that this new life should be confined to people who have heard of Christ and been able to believe in Him? But the truth is God has not told us what His arrangements about the other people are. We do know that no man can be saved except through Christ; we do not know that only those who know Him can be saved through Him. 

    -- C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Papa-G
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Most people say they know the Bible but it's church teachings they know. Most of the church teaching are not biblical, they are inventions of man. The trinity, hellfire and immortal soul are all inventions of man and church. The church teach God has being cruel, punishing sinners in a hell of eternal fire or taking a child from it's parents because god needed an another angel in heaven. The church has been lying to people about God and His Kingdom for close to 2,000 years.

    The truth has been in the Bible all this time but people believed the church because they say it's from the Bible they teach, but it's not.

    If you want to know what the Bible really says about God go to this website.


    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 months ago

    Then Jesus told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.

    "But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

    Source(s): Mt. 13:3-9
    • ...Show all comments
    • jon pike
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Stay away from cults. The parable explains how it is difficult for everyone who hears the gospel to stick with it.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Paul
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    It is always hard to be a Christian. Not hard to call yourself a Christian, but hard to actually live as a Christian, because many things society considers normal and acceptable are contrary to God's truth. And it will become harder as God's Word never changes, but society becomes more sinful every year. Which is why Jesus didn't say "If you would be my disciple, come along for the ride". He said "If you would be my disciple, take up your cross and follow Me".

    • Gloria3 months agoReport

      Sin is easy and fun!!

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 months ago

    I remember actively searching for reasons to abandon my faith, but nothing satisfied me. Sounds like you're being pressured into a belief system and no one is asking you to think for yourself.

    It's easy to be swayed by other people's opinions and negativity, that's what Satan's job is, to lead you away from God. But, if neither of them exist, then what are you worried about?

    This plagues a lot of agnostics, too, who just don't know!! How can you ever be certain one way or another??

    As a health care professional, I examined the scientific and biological reasons why we couldn't have been created. All I found were reasons that we weren't an accident.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 months ago


    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.