Please help me feel again.?
I’m seventeen years old, and due to the whole corona quarantine, I’ve been feeling dead inside. I have diagnosed depression and take Zoloft every morning, I have an amazing and kind girlfriend, a lovely family, so I don’t know why I feel like this. I wake up around 3pm everyday because I can’t bear to get out of bed, and when I try to sleep at night, I am kept awake thinking about doing terrible things. I don’t think I’m special or a psychopath or anything, but I think about killing my self a lot. I’ve struggled with self harm in the past, not because im upset, but because I love the feeling. Recently, I’ve been thinking in extreme detail about killing myself and how it will feel, and the temptation is so immense, I get giddy thinking about how to do it. What I’m asking is, how can I feel something other than wanting to die, at least for a little bit? I have never done drugs because I have a very strict family, and since I’m around my very social mother just about 24/7, the overwhelmingness of everything is making suicide the most appealing and exciting option at the moment. Please just help me feel something. I can’t exercise, because if my mother sees (eating disorder in the past) I’ll go to a therapist again. I am deathly afraid of therapists. I’m willing to try almost anything at this point.
- Anonymous2 months ago
maybe you could find a gore website and watch real videos of people dying / killing themselves and see its not something to be admired.