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jane asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Older son cares more about younger sister than she does for him ?

My older son -age 7 has always been so caring for his younger sister. Always includes her in games, makes sure she’s ok, gets her food when he does. Then my daughter age 5 is the opposite- she takes all of this nice stuff for granted. Doesn’t include her brother, easily ditches him for other girls, won’t do anything nice for him if she doesn’t want to even if he’s upset about it. How do I get her to want to care more about him and be nicer to him? She just doesn’t care. And it makes me feel bad for my son who just wants her to be there more...I’m thinking about doing one of two things- rewarding my son when he does nice things for her so she sees the praise he gets (although I don’t want his genuine kindness to now be driven by greed). Penalizing her when she’s not nice-although I don’t want her to then resent him even more. I want her to genuinely want to be there for him. Any suggestions? 

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you should talk to your daughter about it

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  • 2 months ago

    It's to do with age and maturity, although she's only 2 years younger, she is much less developed than him. Use it to your advantage, little kids are very impressionable. If you start slipping in good behaviours, it should grow on her. It's good to reward good behaviour, you can reward your son without going overboard. When he's being good maybe give him something that both if then like (maybe chocolate), and say why he's getting it. E.g., "that's for sharing with your sister" or "that's for thinking about others" and it could spark interest from her and she might follow suit. 

    If she still isn't being nice, try to find the root of the problem. Are her friends at school like this to her? Or is there a class bully? They could all impact your child's behaviour

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