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How do I use the 'they/them' pronouns correctly? (LGBTQ+)?

Soo here's my example.

How is she?

How is he?

How is ___?

What do I do? 'How is it?' 'How is that?' . They both sound offensive, I don't know what to do, I don't what to stuff up and hurt someone, so I'm asking for clarification.

Do i change it to 'How are they?', because the problem is 'Are' and 'Is' don't have the same meaning, they have different conjugation. If they were the same I could wright 'How are she?'.

Is there another word that i should be using here? If the isn't, I feel like there should be. A word like 'te' (rhymes with she) would be cool. but if that's the case, why isn't their a word like 'Shey', (being the plural of she)? That way we could write the examples below with more accuracy.

"How are they?" (A nondescript amount of any group of people)


"How is te?" (specifically one non-binary person)

'They just went for a walk'  (A nondescript amount of any group of people)


'Shey just went for a walk.' (specifically multiple women.)

That would make more sense to me anyway. Am I being stupid here? I want to add that I genuinely do not know the answer and I'm looking for help. If I am being offensive tell me, because I don't want to be.


3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You need a review of English grammar.

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  • Cara
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    "They" is plural, so if you are asking about the health of more than one person, you say "How are they?" There's nothing offensive about it. It's just like "How is she?" but making it about more people, such as adding in her sister or her family or other friends. There's no need to start making up other words.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I just use 'it'                   

    • asking2 months agoReport

      This conversation has happened in my house before.
      1 "Pick it up, would ya" (referring to the dog)
      2 "That was offensive, he has feelings and isn't just an 'It'".
      Won't this situation occur to a much larger scale if i did the same for a person? Idk,Thanks for your response

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