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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

Would you consider this behavior awkward?

I have been told by my friend that some people think I'm awkward because I smile a lot. So I'm naturally introverted and quiet. When I don't have anything to say, I smile a lot and shake my head. I've been told that people think it's weird that I smile a lot. But they don't understand that I do that because I don't have anything to say. If I didn't smile, they would think I'm being rude or ignoring them. Like I'm not walking around with a permanent smile on my face all the time, but I do tend to smile and nod during conversations to show people that I'm listening, I just don't know what to say. 

By the way, I love being quiet so this is not something I want to fix. I just want to know about the smiling part.

Update:

I really appreciate all of your advice. I'm gonna try it out. Just wanted to add, I'm not a mute. I just only talk when I have something to say. Which isn't often unless I'm with people that I'm comfortable with.

7 Answers

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  • susan
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Possibly. (It's hard for me to know without actually standing near you and observing you in conversations.) However, I'd advise you not to dwell on the question. The result of over thinking whether you are smiling too much is sure to be that you will bring even more tension to the conversation, as you worry exactly how much and when you should smile to correct the oversmiling. If I had to come up with a definition of awkward, it would be behavior that contributes to an unnecessarily high level of tension in a conversation or encounter. Therefore, OVER thinking this smiling thing can only make you more awkward. Your reason for smiling is a good reason. I vote with the user named LiverGirl98 that you should carry on the same if that is comfortable to you. And if you do decide to try smiling less, pick an arbitrary amount of less so you'll think about it as little as possible. (Example: you usually smile every time the other person says something, so now try smiling every other time they say something or only the first time they say something and again when the conversation is ending. Just pick something you can typically follow without thinking too hard about it.)

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i dont see anything wrong with it

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  • 2 months ago

    If people often mention that it's weird that you smile a lot, it seems pretty obvious to me that the answer is not to stop smiling, but to smile LESS.

    But if you really never know 'what to say', then something is really wrong. Don't you have any opinions about anything at all? 'Oh, that new coffee shop? The coffee's great but I hate the green walls' or 'I tried 'War and Peace' a couple of times but I really couldn't get into it'.Simple stuff like that. Stuff that gets other people talking but shows that you're not just part of the furniture.

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Instead of smiling and shaking your head a lot when you're talking with people, occasionally nod your head at what they're saying, so they'll know you're listening to them; and put a studious look on your face occasionally when you're talking with them

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  • Lily
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    I've had this problem for many years. I would smile and nod to be friendly, because, like you, I am naturally more comfortable being quiet and I find it difficult and energy draining to talk all the time with every person in the room.

    It was brought to my attention as a teenager that this behavior was weird, and again as an adult. I thought to myself: Fine. If you'd rather have me not acknowledge you at all, so be it.' I did exactly as I said I would do. I ignored them completely, they ignored me completely and it worked out for the best.

    Frankly, if people are going to point out something wrong with your behavior (That doesn't hurt anybody, it's just because they find it uncomfortable) then you shouldn't worry about fitting them into your social schedule. Maybe they'll take the hint that their behavior was offensive, maybe they won't but either way it will work out for you in the end not to put your time or your energy into these people.

    No, you don't have to change for being quiet. What people have to change is their expectations that quiet people will suddenly care about becoming extroverted for the sake of others.

    • Drea2 months agoReport

      I completely agree

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  • 2 months ago

    Ultimately, you are doing what feels comfortable for you and while other people may find your smiling unusual or somehow inappropriate, you can only go with your own instinct rather than behave in a way unnatural to you.

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  • JJ
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yes it is. You should say "Oh" or "Aha" once in awhile.

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    • Edna
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Lily:  He had BETTER get comfortable. If he doesn't want to talk with people and only wants to smile at them, then he doesn't know how to socially interact with people. They are soon going to begin thinking that his behavior is very strange & therefore, maybe HE is strange.

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