What do you think about this situation? Bf and gf?
I have been together for a year now with my bf and since we moved in together we constantly argue with each other everyday , he can become really aggressive if I say something he won’t like , one time I had to call police because he was locking himself in the room with pair of scissors screaming and shouting . I was really scared. Our daily life is so miserable I look at other neighbours and I feel so sad I feel they have freedom and they look happy and relaxed but I can’t be in this house. My bf is working from morning till night time on laptop he has his own business I lost my job few months ago so I start being depended on him unfortunately and now he keeps telling me that he works so hard so the least I can do is cook and clean the house all the time, we also have dog and cat and I need to take care of them too and he says they are his because he pays their food but I do all the dirty work I clean I feed them. He says to me that I’m lazy and ungrateful. Sometimes when he does something in a wrong way I tell him and he hates it he start shouting and screaming and threading he will do something because he’s angry. I don’t understand is it because of stress he start acting like that or it was actually his personality he told me he was never like that before only I make him angry
About the pets he got it for me both of them but he does whatever he wants because he said he pays for everything, he feeds them with whatever food he thinks it’s okay they need to have a balanced diet because their stomach is very sensitive... if I say they can’t eat he start shouting at me
- 2 months agoFavorite Answer
a lot of people are attacking you but i think right now the relationship is unhealthy and unstable. if he gets aggressive like that you need to get out before it gets worse. i understand im wanting you to cook and clean but from how you are speaking im getting the feeling that he is expecting too much of you and that he is never satisfied. the pets seems childish on his part and i would understand feeling upset about this. i see that at this point you dont have a lot to go off of and you cant really leave so ill type some options you could have.
`talk to a family member (or friend) and let them know whats going on and ask to stay with them until you can afford your own place
`look into local shelters and churches ,, they can help alot. catholic churches raise money for these kinds of things (my church does and they allow people to sleep in the churches when needed they also help people with bills and food)
`talk to him about couples therapy. this could be a big help especially if you want to keep the relationship going.
`try your best to stay how things are, get a job and save money until you can leave.
i wish you the best of luck,, be safe.
- Anonymous2 months ago
He seems to think his time is more valuable than yours because he's still getting paid. You should consider getting paid for the work you do around the house or go back to working a job or start a gig business for yourself. I have a similar problem only mine is much worse than yours...I try to get free of all the backward thinking but they never change. You can talk to your bf about his attitude but sounds like he doesn't want to change. I hope you get a much higher paying job than him then see how he feels it will be much of the same I bet.
- Anonymous2 months ago
You were obviously made for each-other because you're just as pathetic as He is for staying with him!
- 2 months ago
In your situation it sounds like you are stuck and have no choice of where to go. If I were you I would ride it out as best I could for the short term, and continue to look for a new job so that you could move out on your own. Also check with laws in your Country about Common Law spousal arrangements.On a side note it's kind of funny I live by myself and there are days where I wish I had a girlfriend and what you are telling me is the complete opposite.
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- PearlLv 72 months ago
maybe you shouldnt be with him if hes going to be like that
- ButterflywingsLv 62 months ago
Being on the computer day and night is not very good for your nerves. You need to get away from it. At least a few hours in day time. Go for a walk in the fresh air and move around. I suppose you are in a difficult situation and it is not good that he screams and carries on making you scared. He must be very stressed with his work and maybe there’s a lot of pressure on him to perform. Try to be patient and wait for a good time to talk. Say t9 h8m that you have been worried about the stressful situation and the changed you have noticed lately. See if you can work out a solution. Maybe calming down , going for a walk and taking a break. And yes I know it is probably very annoying but while you don’t have work, try to schedule your day a little. Clean for a few hours in the morning , put on some washes and prepare some food. Living with two people you wouldn’t have too much work to do. If things still don’t work out in a few months , or things are becoming worse , or even aggressive towards you. You may have to plan for a break yourself and stay away for a weekend or so. Maybe you can visit your parents, grandparents or friends. Slowly working out a plan and find a solution.
- PatriciaLv 72 months ago
I don't know what you mean by he does stuff the "wrong way".... if it gets done, who cares how he manages to accomplish whatever it is.
And if he's working from home all day and supporting the two of you, then what's wrong with you keeping busy during the day and taking care of things? He's taking care of the financial end, working and i'm sure he doesn't love his job 100% of the time. It's not like he's sitting around playing video games all day.
If you are doing things and need help with something, then politely ask for the help you need. We have to use respect and courtesy in relationships, too. And if you do this, and continue, then he will follow suit. it may take time because from what you say, he's used to you bitchingAnd Moaning about cleaning and taking care of pets. And i really don't understand what the problem is, or why you're taking his saying the pets are his so seriously. Really? You both live there, so the pets depend on you both. They are your mutual pets, regardless of what he says. I don't see why you want to argue about pets! It's insane!
Maybe grow up
- yLv 72 months ago
I had to call police because he was locking himself in the room with pair of scissors screaming and shouting
Sounds like he really wanted you to stay away from home and he had no other place to run and hide. Why are you nagging him to such a degree?
- RickLv 72 months ago
If you've been arguing with each other for more than the past month, your relationship isn't a healthy one and something needs to change. And because Covid has caused people to stay at home together for longer than they normally would, people are stressed, easily irritated and unhappy.
Do some things separately from each other. Go for walks without him a couple of times a day and see if that helps. The exercise will reduce the stress you're feeling and will be a good break for you.
Once things get back to normal, you could see a relationship counselor. It's up to you and whether you think the relationship can be saved or improved to the point that it's worth staying together.
- 2 months ago
You say that he isnt usually like this and only you make him that way? so it sort of sound like the problem is you. Maybe you should reevalute the way you are acting towards hin to make him do these things.