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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

How do I move out of my house and take my stuff with me?

So, my mother is a control freak. I’m 28 years old and want to move. She won’t let me. The only thing stopping me is her not letting me have my stuff. She’s always home so I can’t just pack up and leave when she’s not there. Can I call the police? Will they allow me so much time to gather my things up into the car?

Update:

The title should be, "How do I move out of my parent's house and take my stuff with me?"

Update 2:

In response to: Are you scared of your mother? What is she going to do if you start shoving things into your car? 

She might lock me out of the house. I'm not sure. She has locked me out of the house for reasons you wouldn't even believe, e.g., for filling up my car's tires with air.

12 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Make sure you have all your necessary  documents and leave with the clothes on your back if you have to.   If you can get as much of necessary things you can such as clothes, shoes, tooth brush, deodorant and under ware,   Move these things a little at a time.   If  I couldn't get out with out a big fight,  then I would let her have it all.   I lived in a bad situation for years not knowing what to do.   Then One day I just left  it was not easy to replace some things  but I made it and was happy just sleeping on the floor of my new place for awhile.  it was peaceful.

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    What "stuff" do you want to take with you - your clothes; your personal possession that you have in your room; your books -- what?  You're 28 years old, and you need to grow a backbone. Your mother can't stop you from taking your "stuff" with you when you move out. 

    If the "stuff" you're talking about is old stuff  that you've had ever since you were a kid and that's stored in boxes in your mother's house, that's a different story.  Your mother's not going to try to stop you from taking that stuff - she wants you to get that junk out of her house. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Start small--sneak your stuff out one thing at a time, to your new place, or a small, temporary storage unit. Start with stuff she won't miss right away. Pack your clothing into suitcases (that YOU buy) and your toiletries and personal items into bags or boxes. If you can find your documentation such as your birth certificate and social security card before you try this, get them (original!) and make copies so you'll have extra. Make sure you safeguard your driver's license/purse/bank information so your mom cannot access them. If you can't find this stuff, you'll have to get certified copies from your county, city or state later. 

    If you have large items, and YOU purchased them or obtained them on your own, then you have a right to move them. When you're ready to move, hire a moving company to remove your things--including whatever furniture you own--NOTE: i said OWN, not stuff your parent's bought for you!--and make an appointment to have them move your things all at once, on the same day. If your mother gets crazy and tries to stop them, call the police. Show them your lease (or otherwise tell them about your new address) and ask them to keep your mother from preventing you from leaving. 

    You won't be entitled to take anything you didn't buy or you don't own. That will mean your own clothing and personal effects, your books or knick-knacks, and your toiletries MAY be all you're allowed to have in this move. Your parents are actually entitled to prevent you from taking any large things that were bought FOR you--such as your bed and mattresses, dressers, sheets, towels, etc. So make sure you can claim ownership before trying to move those items. Don't attempt to take anything that you didn't buy yourself. 

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  • 2 months ago

    If you are trying to move your things out and she does something physical - physically tries to prevent you from leaving - then that is assault and you can call the police. Any laying hands on another person is assault. So when they arrive (which might take a really long time) then they will probably tell your mom to lay off while you remove your belongings. 

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  • Ann
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you plan to leave, have a definite plan of when you want to do it and where you're going to go. If you're working, I would go rent a place now (you will have to pre-pay a deposit in order to hold the space). You might go out and buy some things at a thrift store when they open up again, such as kitchen and bath things. You can't really do anything right now because of the stay at home orders, but when the stores open up, you're free to buy what you will need. Don't buy more than the bare essentials. I would try to find a place that is furnished--maybe a room and bath rental in a private home rather than an apartment. Then, all you will need to get from your mother's house is your clothes. When you have a definite move-in date and you're ready, you can get a sheriff's deputy (or two, if you think she might get violent) to go with you to collect your things. You will have to get a signed order by a judge that allows access to her house. Only take what is essential, and what you can carry with you in one trip. Expect that she might try to destroy anything you don't take with you, if she's that vindictive. And don't let her know where you're moving. Go to the post office about six weeks before you move (you will have already rented the place and paid your deposit), so that your mail will start going there. Also, be sure you have a bank account in your name only at a bank she doesn't use. Block her number from your telephone so she won't be harassing you, and don't tell anyone she could call to find out where you are. Warn your boss at work that you've left and she is not to enter your place of work. You may have to get a restraining order against her to keep her away from you, if you are afraid of what she might do. Good luck to you.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i would get the police to help you out

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  • 2 months ago

    Things you used while they raised you belong to them, not you.  Unless you purchased your own bedroom set after you became an adult, and you may need the receipt to prove it, you likely don't have much.  Pack your clothes - have them ready, your laptop, other incidentals and tell her you are going to work out at a gym.  Do this "work out" thing every day for a few days until everything is in your car.  Then, be gone.  Since right now most of us are home-bound, where do you plan to go?  If none of this works, call the police and tell them you were kidnapped and are being held against your will.

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  • Edwena
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Well, do you have a place to go to if you leave? And a way to get there? That sort of determines what you can take. The police are not in the business of moving you and can't choose sides unless there is a violation of the law. Which there appears to be no violation. So my suggestion is that you pack up while she is cooking your supper, and when she is in the bathroom getting ready for bed, you pick up your suitcase and head out the door.

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  • Bill
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    28 years old and cannot move out with your gear

    what are you --some sort of cry baby. Man up (woman up) -- pack up take it out the door and by by by moma dear

    nothing she can do .If she grabs you that is assault and you can get an order to prevent her from standing in your way

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  • Nunya
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Are you scared of your mother? What is she going to do if you start shoving things into your car?

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