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My brother got his girlfriend of 4 months pregnant. I'm not happy for them?

My brother dropped out of college after having one semester left to get his BA in CSE, wasting 80000 my parents spent to send him to college. He went straight into the Army, met a girl and 4 months later got her pregnant then got engaged. I've never met her. He's been in the military for 1 year and has barely any savings and can't even afford to buy a car so he took my dads. When he told me today, I told him I was disappointed in him. I told him that I think he is screwing up his life and needs to start making better decisions especially since he is going to be a dad. It was literally 6 months ago my brother was asking me for money because he spent all of his drinking and at strip clubs. I feel terrible that they want me to be excited for them but I'm not, I'm really not interested in being involved in their family. What's worse is my parents are feeling the same way. I wish I could be excited to be an Aunt, I'm not. All I keep seeing this as is another bad mistake that eventually me and my family are going to have to support him through. I've talked to his girlfriend a few times but she doesn't seem to be particularly bright. I think she just wants to be a stay at home wife/mom and let my brother work. I'm not a fan but I want to try to be. Any advice?

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    You're right.

    Your parents are right.

    But they put too much faith in him. They should have been able to see his flakey behaviors before they put $80,000 into his schooling.

    🥴 All you can really do is support him and carry on with your own lives. This is something he's going to have to correct, himself.

    Don't let him drag you into his bs. Don't lend him money. He's STILL taking advantage.

    Your parents need to sit him down and tell him straight. He needs to get his shxt together and not to ask for money. IT'S HIS responsibility to man up and spend his money where he needs to.

    Take the car back. Because he's probably not on the insurance. It's liable to get impounded if he's caught with it.

    Be honest with him in a family meeting.

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    • Lv 6
      2 months agoReport

      Guys like your brother push for validation because he shuts down without his familys approval.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    it might help if you changed your attitude

    • Stephanie2 months agoReport

      What’s wrong with my attitude? 

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  • 2 months ago

    That's his life and if he comes to you guys needing nothing but help all the time then you let him deal with things on his own. But you do need to quit saying ignorant things like she's not too bright just because she wants to be a stay at home mom and wife and let your brother work. She would be taking care of the little one and saving them money on childcare. According to you your brother was spending money like it was going out of style drinking and hanging out at strip clubs so working and taking care of a little one might be the thing that finally tames him and keeps him from being wild and flaky.

    You don't know his woman well enough to make that judgment on whether or not she's bright. You're biased, you're sounding very ignorant, and you're making it about how it's affecting you when they're the ones that are really gonna be dealing with it. There's nothing wrong with him working and her taking care of the baby. You're not his wife's mother she doesn't need your approval and honestly she doesn't need your mom and dad's approval either. Do you know what happens sometimes when the family approves of a girl but the guy doesn't? they DON'T END UP TOGETHER. Because it's up to him who he marries. All you can do is be there and if you can't handle it then don't be there for him.

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    • Stephanie2 months agoReport

      Especially when you only have 1 child. I get it if you had 2 or special needs children but just 1 child? She could work part time.

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  • 2 months ago

    You don't have to be happy with them.....they have to be happy with each other.

    As the aunt, you should throw this girl a baby shower and invite your relatives and hers.  All you have to do is buy a cake and make some coffee and plan a couple of party games.....easy.

    This also gives your relatives a chance to look her over.  If she is wise and well organized, polite and respectful, serious and knowledgeable about raising kids, then she may be all right.

    If not, then you will realize it soon enough.  However, your family should be the one to  throw the party and in conversation, just let her know what is expected.

    • Stephanie2 months agoReport

      I've tried reaching out to family but everyone's embarrassed. My parents and uncles don't want to participate. When I first tried to get to know her she told me a story about how she let a dog starve to death in her house because she didn't realize she had to feed him...and no she wasn't a kid.

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