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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Why won’t my wife ever admit she settled for me because I was the safe option. I’m starting to become miserable in this marriage ?

With me she doesn’t have to work she doesn’t have to work I provide us a nice lifestyle the big house the boats the fancy cars. I also don’t cheat I’m not a cheater and I will never cheat. We don’t spend a whole lot of time together because I work a lot but we do come together on saturday and spend a couple of hours together. I’m a good man to her and she knows this which is why I don’t think she will ever willingly leave. I’m not her type. We were good friends before we dated and she told me her type while we were only friends. She loves men with men with a sense of humor that can cook. She also loves men that aren’t so opinionated and more laid back. I’m neither of those. I’m a very opinionated person and I refuse to back down on that which is where we clash a lot. We have different views on everything. Everything. The only common ground we have is the fact that neither of us wants kids but when we see what else we share we come blank. Our sex life has also been horrible she’s becoming more and kore digusted with me I noticed. I thought it would improve over the years but it’s gotten worse. She never orgasms either. And just lays there quiet and wanting me to finish Quickly. At first I thought she had a low sex drive but now I believe it’s cause she really don’t wanna be with me. I bet if she was having sex with a man more her type she would be begging him not to stop 


She is 22. I’m 35 

Update 2:

My heart is not in this relationship anymore really I’m not happy anymore and it’s because of our relationship 

Update 3:

And also my wife complains to me about not wanting to watch certain shows with her even though I told her I’m not a tv show person I would rather watch movies 

Update 4:

I told my wife don’t sit here and lie to my face you’re with me for security you know if you got with a man you really wanted he wouldn’t do all that I do or even if he had the money he would probably be selfish with his money 

Update 5:

She was like I’m with you because I love you. I’m a pretty girl I can have anybody I chose you” and I said “ any man can talk a great game but I’ve actually proved myself to you “

1 Answer

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    So you’re wanting to be the alpha male and she was young and naive and thought having a sugar daddy taking care of her sounded like a good idea. She just didn’t realize the truth about that reality, and neither did you.

    What I don’t understand is why you would have wanted to marry her knowing that you aren’t her type, especially when you say you were good friends before dating.

    There is more to being fulfilled than spending money on her. If she doesn’t work (you say she doesn’t have to, but lots of people who don’t have to still choose to) and you aren’t home much, what does she do to fill her time? She’s probably bored and lonely. Which is a great recipe for cheating, by the way. I’m not saying she is, just that it sounds like conditions are ripening for that to happen.

    Relative to sex, if she was enjoying sex, she would be into it and should be orgasming. For women there certainly is a mental component to sex, so if she’s disgusted by you she isn’t going to be turned on. But it also sounds like she gets no pleasure from sex with you, which also could be a reflection of your skill set.

    If you aren’t happy and you two aren’t compatible, why do you want to stay married?

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