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Which act is more selfish?

Today my mother was in pain because her sister who lives in another country told mum about her son's heartless act toward grandma "my mum's mother" who lives with my aunt, also she told her what he said about mum which was totally painful for my mother because she always considered him a son to her

Now i am thinking to tell my aunt to stop delivering such bad news for mum because it's useless and hurt her at the same time i am thinking maybe she told mother that because she is alone by herself and she wanted to share this with her sister to feel better 

So which act is more selfish to ask her to stop and endure the pain alone ?

Or sharing it with mum so they both suffer together?

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