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Ciara asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Why am i not sad about my grandma passing away?

So basically, my grandma and i were really close...some would say inseparable. It was around 6 months ago when we heard she was diagnosed with cancer, my other grandma died 2 years ago from cancer and that was devastating, but for some reason when THIS grandma died i wasn't sad at all i just carried on. I feel horrible, and sometimes i try and force my self to cry. Her funeral was weird because everyone around me were clearly sad, but me. I don't know, a part of me feels so guilty about the way i feel but the other half just feels like i should move on. I feel so weird.... 

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    you were probably still in shock about her dying

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    There isn't a "right" way or a "wrong" way to grieve.  Think about all those wonderful memories you have with your grandma.  Just because you didn't cry doesn't mean you're not sad.

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  • 2 months ago

    It is not that you aren't sad, but that you are living in denial of the loss (the first stage of grief).  Plus it is very common especially when you have recently gone through a traumatic loss like you apparently did with your other grandmother.  To deny your feelings about the loss of the grandmother you were closer to is a coping mechanism.  The bad news (or maybe good depending on how you look at it) is this denial only works in the short term.  You will eventually have to face the loss and the other 4 stages of grief:  anger, bargaining, depression/sadness, and acceptance.  And stop trying to force yourself to be sad.  You can't hurry the grieving process and we all grieve at a different pace.  Sorry for your loss.

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  • 2 months ago

    I think it's a few things.

    1. Some sadness involves regret. Maybe you always treated your grandmother well and didn't have any.

    2. There are stages to grief, and the last one is acceptance. What happens sometimes, when a death is expected, is that the grief process has already been completed *before* the person dies.

    I see this a lot with the elderly and the chronically ill. People stop visiting. They stop reacting. They've already accepted the "loss" and have moved on with their own lives.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Dont force yourself to cry just to feel normal. It also might hit you later. Right now you're in disbelief and acting normal, but later it might hit you hard, or not.

    It's ok not to cry. Life moves on.

    I cried the most for my dogs over the years that passed than any person I think, except when my dad died. It's a toss up. Grandparents no never cried 

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