I hope this isn't creepy but when you were a kid did you have a really innocent and pure crush on someone from on TV?
I really was quite taken with Ace from Dr Who. It was love at first sight pretty much and I adored her but I was like 4 or 5. It just makes me think about how people (me included) get a bit carried away with the sexual side of things saying stupid stuff like "Yeeeah I'm smash that", "nice t*ts" etc.
I feel like part of me wants to return to innocense. Do you ever feel the same?
- ღAmayAღ (Pond)Lv 76 months agoFavorite Answer
I wouldn't say I'm "innocent", necessarily. Just that I'm not driven by the same things as most people. And what I've always wanted, more than ANYTHING else..? Is just a really beautiful, sweet, deep, loving, exclusive, romantic and emotional soul connection with someone! Which is what Soulmate and I have found, in each other. We initially fell in love via email, before ever having seen a picture of each other, you know..? None of us need sex, to be happy in a relationship. But I do consider myself panromantic GREY ace, rather than 100% *completely* asexual, because I do enjoy SOME slightly sexual things! Or at least sensual things. But.. only with someone that I REALLY deeply love and trust, on every single level! Such as Soulmate. And.. we've still got some more things and experiences we want to explore together in that way, I feel! Just that there is NO pressure whatsoever, and we're taking it VERY gently and slowly, because our primary thing is this deep soul connection, and our deep love for each other. (Plus.. ya know, we're also currently stuck on opposite sides of the planet, sadly!) And also, he is always SO considerate of me, and would never even want to touch me in a way I might not like! Because.. he knows I've got traumas with this stuff. And he's got his own traumas, too. So.. just.. we are VERY sweet to each other, and considerate of each other! Although actually..? I've loved ALL of his touches, and EVERYTHING he's been doing, so far!! So it's just kind of like: "you can always touch me MORE, you know..? I love it SO much! And I love you!!" Which.. I told him that a few months back, and he was VERY happy! So maybe when he comes here this summer, we can do slightly MORE stuff like that. And I'll always let him know when something feels good, or I want more touches. <3 :) ..Literally THE opposite of my d*ckhead ex, who basically forced himself on me, and did not give a CRAP about my feelings, though!!! I am so grateful to be with someone who loves me so much, and is so considerate of me, that he would never do ANYTHING unless he knows I 100% want it, too!! Best ever Soulmate. <3 <3 <3 :)
Anyway, yeah... I never experience that "ZOMG, said person is so hot!!" thing! I've got longings in a different way. But not in that way. And I just honestly never got it. I may think someone is beautiful, and aesthetically pleasing, on a physical level. But I enjoy it kind of in the same way as you might enjoy good art. Like.. it doesn't get me horny, and it doesn't make me want to f*ck them. Whereas if I really LOVE someone, in the way that I love Soulmate..? I also start finding them physically beautiful, because their light shines through them, and animates their physical body, too. So.. Soulmate could honestly be the (physically) ugliest person in the whole entire world, and he would still be FAR more attractive to me than some random gorgeous celebrity, or supermodel. Just because he's the person that I love!!! And the more I love someone..? The more I also want to get physically close to them. And.. explore whatever sensual, or slightly sexual feelings I DO have. With them. Which is probably less than in most people, but still not COMPLETELY non-existent. But yeah... I could also still be very happy just being with Soulmate, even if we NEVER did anything sexual, whatsoever!! Just as long as we had plenty of warm hugs, and kisses, and cuddles, and snuggles. Which he also loves, more than anything!!! Thankfully. <3 ;)
..Anyway, yeah. I had a few crushes as a kid, too. But because I'm so atypical, and on the ace spectrum, as far as sexuality goes..? I do not at ALL feel like: "well, it was so innocent back then, whereas it's all dirty now." In fact..? I don't know if what I feel on that level has actually changed all THAT much! I had intense and OBSESSIVE crushes back then, too. Just like I can be intense and obsessive now!! And.. I wanted to constantly be close to my crushes! Which I also want now. Only thing that HAS changed, maybe..? Is: I now want SOME more sensual or slightly sexual elements than what I wanted, back then. But they don't feel "dirty" to me. Just perfectly natural, when I love someone! And I really look forward to Soulmate and I exploring even MORE of that together, hopefully later this year, when corona blows over. ;)Source(s): Endless freaking ramble!! Me so sorry! But speaking as someone who's been either confused about her sexuality, or ashamed of not being sexually "normal", for most of her life? Who is finally starting to feel more and more like who she is on that level is OKAY? Because of Soulmate being so unconditionally loving and supportive, and adoring me just the way I am? Just.. it is REALLY, really liberating to finally openly talk about it, and write about it!! And not giving a SH*T what people think! ..Yeah. ;)
- Jess CLv 76 months ago
I used to like Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.... I know it was a cartoon but he was so mysterious and sweet lol.
I guess i just sort of think as the sexual side of stuff to be seperate from everything else. Like, first it's the personality side of things and how the person treats me, and then sexual stuff is after all that. I think I might be a demisexual though...
I think I like sexual stuff, so maybe I don't want to return to innocence... but people other than my boyfriend making sexual comments about me makes me feel quite uncomfortable. So I guess I wouldn't mind avoiding situations like that.
- 💙ElliotTheCorgi💙Lv 76 months ago
No, not really hun.