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Abusive family..?

I am currently 17 years old. I am transgender FTM and everyone in my family (except my sister who accepts me) started to become very abusive. It was bad even before I came out, classic parents fighting every night at 3am, classic new stepdad who is even worse then my actual dad And my siblings. 4 brothers and 1 sister (2 brothers moved out). My 2 oldest brothers had really no issue with my being transgender, one was gay and one was bi but they are no longer in my lives ever since my mother "disowned" them. My father is homophobic and so are my 2 younger brothers, my mom claims to not have a problem with it but when I told her I was a gay man she started to treat me different. My mother is very two-faced. she talks badly about her children behind our backs, mostly about me and my 2 eldest brothers to everyone. She has always been this way, she would always compare me to herself at a young age (9-15), saying things like "why would you hurt yourself I never did that as a kid, why cant you be mentally stable ect." My brothers are the worst part tho, they talk badly about me to everyone and anyone (ever since I came out). They make up stories about me saying that "I suck dick for free" despite me being a virgin and never in a relationship. To me and my sister its just unbelievable how the act towards me, my sister just came out as pan and now they are harassing her too, but not as bad as me..


Been trying to find job but since corona its near impossible now. I wake up just wanting to end it already. I've been sent to two hospitals from trying to die but when I get back they just treat me even worse then they did before. I can't live with friends because their parents are too scared of the corona to let "outsiders" in. Im lost and just dead. My 2 younger brothers are 15 and 9, my 15 year old brother is a compulsive liar and a manipulator and my family knows that..but nothing is done...

Update 2:

everyone in my family who is living with me currently but my sister hate me for my sexuality, for my mental issues, me just existing. I don't have any behavior issues..I take care of the house and my siblings because my mom isn't around. I really don't understand what I have done, what have I done wrong..? Not to mention my childhood didn't really exist either because that was the time my oldest brother came out as gay, it was all just fighting, being hit, screamed at for even being around him.

Update 3:

I know this is very long but I need to get this out of my chest. I had a therapist but she had to leave because my mom wasn't trying in therapy and for that she had "no reason to be there" she was the best person I have ever met..she helped and supported me and now shes gone..I had another one after her but because my mother would change appointments and not tell me they kicked me out. You could say that my mom doesn't believe in mental illness, and that seeking for help is wrong. (her words)...

Update 4:

They refuse to even cook food for me most of the time so I barely eat. Yet I get blamed for eating all the food, when in reality I don't eat. my 15 year old brother works out a LOT so naturally he eats a lot of food, but blames me. I don't know how long I can take this anymore. I almost never come out of my room now, I feel so trapped and when I come out I get looked at as an alien by my brothers. Im seriously struggling to find my will to live anymore and I really need help and advice. Thank u.

Update 5:

for people who say "get a job and move out eNd oF SToRy" 

Like i stated..due to the corona virus it it VERY hard to actually get a job, its not that "im not trying" it is just that people dont wish to hire new people in fear that they might be infected. sorry if that sounds like an excuse for you but it's the truth, especially in the small town I live in 

5 Answers

  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Try to get out of there as soon as possible. Can you move in with a friend or another relative for a while till you can find a job and a place to live. It is of utmost importance that you take care of yourself. NOW. Get out of there as soon as you can. Your mental and physical health and safety depend on it. You must take care of yourself first. You might have to limit contact with your family until they learn to deal with it. Would one of your brothers let you stay with him? Please do this NOW. Don't put it off. Pack up your stuff quietly and on the sly if necessary and get out of there. Take stuff out a box at a time if necessary. Also Get in contact with the gay center and the trans support group. Your life is the most important thing.

    Take it seriously. For you sister it is a shame she came out- - her parents will not understand that at all. It might be good if the two of you take off. together. Remember safety!!!!! HUGS from a SENIOR lesbian

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Sounds like a typical family with gay children.  Unfortunately, this is fairly common.  It's probably the degenerate gene pool that causes them to be gay.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You know how your parents are. You can’t be out under their roof. If you are going to be out - you have to be on your own and paying your own bills. Period. And right now - since you can’t get a job - thats not possible. You don’t want to be homeless now!

    So go back in the closet. Lie. Say you think you are straight now. Dress as your birth gender. Play the freaking game. Put off you being out. Do what you have to do to get buy. 

    This won’t be forever. College is coming - pick a trans friendly school very very far from home - where you can be out on the down low. Or if college is not for you - join the military or pick a trade and move to a city where its pretty pro trans. Some day you will be able to have the partner of your choice and live openly trans. 

    But you need to be able pay your bills first. You need to have the job and the skills. So that day is not now. Play the game and lie and get by so that later on you can do what you want. 

    It won’t be so bad. Back when I was a kid - no one even thought about being out. So its not for ever. Its going to be ok. You’ll get through it.

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  • Get a job and move out end of story.

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  • patty
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    sounds like no one has respect for anyone where u live. walk around with headphones playing. also maybe get a part time job to get away from the place

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