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Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 2 months ago

What's it called when you only focus on one person?

So I have this really bad tendency in social groups to give one person my undivided attention and the rest not so much. In times we're 3 friends I always end up really close with one of them and the other one will be feeling unheard and left out.. I know its really toxic and I swear I'm doing my best to change but does anyone know a term for this as I'm trying to find people with the same issue and gain more insight

4 Answers

  • OTTO
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    I am a focuser. Some people are scanners.

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  • 2 months ago

     A fixation....

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  • 2 months ago

    First of all, I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all. I think it's important to understand that we're all different and we have different strengths and weaknesses. I also struggle with focusing on more than one person at a time. Honestly, it extends to other areas of my life too, not just people, but I'm horrible at doing more than one of anything at a time. Certain studies say this is the healthy way to do things, because multi-tasking is supposedly not good for you. And maybe that's true, but I think what it comes down to is deciding what's good for YOU and only you can decide that. Feeling it out may provide you with answers. 

    That being said, your question did make me think of something that can potentially give you some insight. If this is something outside the realm of what you currently believe, I totally understand and you can feel free to dismiss it on any reasoning that you decide is valid to you. I do feel called to share this info with you though, and if it's true for you then awesome! If not, also awesome! Some helpful understanding is always beneficial. You may decide that it's not speaking to you, which is totally acceptable, but you may never know if you don't look into it with an open mind :) 

    Okay, so last year I found out about this system called Human Design, which has honestly been very insightful in my life and provided me with a new perspective on myself and those around me. What I thought when I read your post was that it's possible that you're a Projector type. You won't know unless you google 'human design chart' and put your info in, but my guess is that you are. Some of the major identifiers of Projectors are that they're amazing guides and advisers, they understand systems and the inner-workings of things, possess great wisdom, genuinely want to help people and have a love of understanding people on a deep level, and often feel misunderstood because they can often give advice when others don't want it (or others don't see that you actually possess the knowledge you're trying to share) and feel rejected when they're just trying to give help and guidance out of love and being able to see how others can benefit from their insights. 

    If you are a Projector, then this would explain why you have a hard time focusing on more than one person at a time, because it's said in Human Design that Projectors have a penetrating aura, which allows their focus to dig SUPER deep into whatever and whoever they're choosing to focus on. This can be extremely beneficial when learning about any topic of interest as it allows them to quickly absorb the information, but it can also be "a bit much" for others when they become interested in getting to know someone who isn't okay with how clearly they can see them. Also, it makes it very difficult to focus on really anything or anyone else when they've put their focus on something else. It's really good for them to focus on one thing or one person at a time! Don't make yourself feel bad because you're not functioning like someone else, because you are uniquely you and there are truly many benefits from allowing yourself to lean into your natural way of being.

    If this doesn't speak to you at all, I apologize for taking up your time! I only mean to help, and if this doesn't resonate I understand that you will likely thrown all of this out of your metaphorical window :) much love!

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Maybe you are socially selective where you just like that person more than the other and prefer to interact solely with them. 

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