Am I being selfish for thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend over his reaction to the Corona Virus Pandemic?
My Boyfriend and I have been together for 1-year today. I'm 32 and he's 52, and we live 30miles apart. Normally, we spend 3 nights together each week (95% of the time I'm the one traveling to him even though he doesn't have a job). He says "I love you" about 3 times as much as I do. This whole Corona Virus Pandemic has really had me thinking about whether I want to continue our relationship. He keeps telling me multiple times a day how much he misses me, but ever since the Quarantines have started he says he doesn't want me to come over, due to fear that I could infect him. We are both avid road cyclists, but I like riding with fast groups, where as he likes doing his own thing solo. 1-week before quarantines started I road with 1 friend, and he bashed me saying that "I'm stupid for doing that, and obviously don't care about him or other people". Along with just forbidding me from visiting him right now, I'm also turned off by how paranoid he is about this whole virus thing compared to me; He's washing all of his clothes excessively; even if he just wears a pair of shorts at his apartment for 2hrs and goes nowhere he says they need to be washed, because of what's going on (he only washes in cold too for environmental reasons).
I feel like my own boyfriend should make me his one exception, to spend time with during this Pandemic. Am I being selfish for thinking about breaking up with him over how he's reacting?
- Dr. StephanieLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
Let's see: he's unemployed; you do most if not all the traveling; he's 2 decades older than you are; you've been together for a year but still live apart. And I haven't even read the rest yet! You are doing all the work and he's getting to have his cake and eat it too. Oh, and he's a nutcake about washing? If he is afraid to wear his own clothes in his own apartment for more than 2 hours, of course he'd be even more afraid to connect with you in person! But honey, haven't you considered breaking up with him before this anyway? He sure doesn't sound like much of a catch. Additionally, when you 52 and wanting to explore the world of early retirement, he'll be 82, if he's still alive, wanting to explore the gear shifts in his recliner. Seems to me you won't have much to lose by moving on...virus or no virus. Good wishes,
- Alan HLv 72 months ago
He is right about postponing visits.
But, if it gets to you so much, you are right in breaking off the relationship
- FireplaceLv 62 months ago
You can break up with him for whatever reason you want.
- EdnaLv 72 months ago
Wonderful! You have a 52-year-old boyfriend who doesn't have a job (and it seems as if he has no intention of looking for one any time soon). Not only that, it appears he has Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) too - he doesn't want you to visit him or to visit you because he's afraid you might infect him; he washes his clothes excessively; he wears a pair of shorts for only 2 hours and then washes them because they might be "dirty"; and never goes anywhere - all because of "what's going on". He's paranoid.
Dump him. You can find someone whose mental state is better than his.
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- RajaLv 72 months ago
No you are not selfish. Corona-virus experts say stay inside avoid traveling till the epidemic is brought under control.Thank your bf for forbidding you from travelling.He is matured where as you are still young guided by passion.But you have made the correct decision.
- Serene ELv 72 months ago
Uh....people break up with other people for all kinds of reasons. I have no idea what you mean by selfish.....you have your feelings, your reasons, and those reasons are valid for you.
- StephenWeinsteinLv 72 months ago
The water usage and detergent to wash every 2 hours would do more environmental damage than washing in warm water at a normal frequency. You might want to suggest to him that less frequent washing in warmer water would be better for the environment, and save time and do a better job of killing the virus.
- JudyLv 72 months ago
It sounds like there's a lot more to it than just covid, that this is just what got you thinking. Probably time to consider moving on.
- Jadzia DaxLv 72 months ago
No, he sounds pretty paranoid. Tell him (don't ask) to never call you or anything you do stupid. That would have done it for me.
- 2 months ago
No. Not at all. IDK when men started to wine more that teenage girls but it's getting rediclous . I'm sure you aren't pleased that you have to stay in your house and not work but you find things to do to occupy your brain. LOL. If the women isn't complaining the man definitely should not!