My boyfriend doesn't want to open up to me.?
Before I start, I just want to say that my boyfriend (M25) and me (nearly F20) are deeply, hopelessly in love.
We both met each other in college when I was 19 and he was 24 and we both got along like a house on fire.
We decided to make our relationship official just after 2 dates and later, on a Christmas Eve night, we both lost our virginities to each other.
Now, I just want to say that my boyfriend is intelligent, laid-back and friendly so he doesn't have an awful personality.
But he can be a bit hesitant to open up and express his thoughts and feelings to me.
Recently, he's been pretty depressed over something that was beyond his control and not his fault.
In this state, he just sleeps in all day, sits around our room doing nothing or overeating and drinking.
I try to comfort and nature him as best as I can to try to help him overcome this and move on, but he tells me that, "talking about his problem won't solve anything."
Another reason he gave me was, he didn't want to get too emotional in front of me because he thinks that, I will think that, "he is weak and a burden".
I reasure him over-wise but he just tells me to leave him alone.
I respect his request and do so, whilst reasuring him that, he's not alone and I'm always here for him.
Despite this, we still love and care for eachother greatly but recently, he's seemingly just...broken down.
I wish I could help him or doing something but I don't know how or what.
What do you think?
- TealLv 72 months ago
If he doesn't want to talk, then focus on actions he can take to improve his situation. He needs to stop self medicating with alcohol and food. He also needs to put himself on a schedule and commit to waking up at the same time every day, taking care of himself, exercising, and doing household chores. This won't cure depression or make his problem go away, but it will greatly improve his mood and give him purpose. Supporting him means supporting healthy choices and giving him the encouragement and help he needs to get through this. It does not mean abandoning your standards and becoming his nanny while he stagnates. Demand better because you know he is better than his depression and circumstances, that is how you show love and respect.
- LoonaseeLv 42 months ago
You really haven't known him for that long, do you know if he has a history of depression? Family history?
Men in particular are frowned upon for showing emotion. More accurately, sadness. For some odd reason anger is more acceptable among men, go figure.
You have already expressed your concern and support. Beyond continuing that, there really isn't much you can do. He has to be the one to recognize that he is depressed and that he needs to do something about it.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Pray to God, seriously, about this.
It could be he has done something very evil and dose not want to admit to this?