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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

How to deal with son saying other people are better parents than me?

My adult son has become extremely resentful towards me lately saying I've been a bad parent to him and not brought him up correctly. He thinks I won't let him live his life, I treat his brother better and I've not educated him enough about life.

What's hurtful is he keeps saying how my family, his boss and his friends parents are better at raising their children and he wishes they were his parents instead. More recently, he said that his uni tutor is a better father as hes "more educated and got more money". My son has even shouted at his brother saying that his uncle shouldve been his dad.

He keeps telling his co-workers and friends that we're bad parents who just want to control him, and he keeps making stuff up like that so they side with him and say we're bad parents... 

I don't  know how to deal with this anymore as it's extremely hurtful and I want him to make some money and leave. His current part time job won't sustain him enough.

Update:

He never smokes, drinks or does anything like that but he still lies to me. He thinks we stop him going out to see his friends despite the fact he did this for most of the summer holiday as well as working. When I explaining this to his cousin, he then went and told his boss saying I had a child on my shoulder about that

Update 2:

He also keeps calling his boss his dad, just because his sons have done really well and are working in high end jobs. He uses that to make me look inadequate.

Update 3:

And he thinks his biggest failure in life is the fact he still has to live with us which seems to be the biggest issue as he cannot afford to move out. He's currently at uni and his part time job won't sustain him enough.

7 Answers

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you should send him over to go live with them

    • Zachary2 months agoReport

      Yeah but none of these people would accept him living with them

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Perhaps you are as he describes!  My parents were so! Just as you describe. Another family in the neighborhood found a way I could move out of my house, to their Home!  My parents kept saying to me "you can never be good enough". Are these words said there? 

    People are too often very blind on how they are treating others!  Decades later I found out from my sisters and brother they where Not getting anything from mom either. All attention on me. And negative attention only. 

    Pray to God about this. 

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  • audrey
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I'd kick his sorry @$$.out so fast his head would swim. Too bad if he's "not making enough to sustain himself".

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  • Kelley
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    Your son does not realize that he is a hypocrite. He stated that only educated rich people are good parents. By his own definition, that means he is a bad son and by his own definition, he will be a bad parent because he is not educated and rich.

    If your son wants to know more about life, tell him to read, study and follow the Bible.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This is really hurtful and heartbreaking but there's not much you can do except ride it out. He will understand one day and come back to you and make it up. Your job is to be there for him no matter what. Tell him you love him and you did your best for him but if he wants to move out you won't stop him.

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  • 2 months ago

    So tell him if he doesn't knock it off you're going to kick him out. The fact that he can't make it on his own might be just the reality check he needs.

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  • Rick B
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Then tell him that if he is unhappy with you, he needs to go live with these others whom he thinks are so great. Tell him he has three days to pack his belongings and leave.

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