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I need a hand with my story ... ?

Three of my characters are a nineteen year old girl named Priscilla, her twenty – nine year old boyfriend named Brad, and her eighteen year old brother named Rex . Priscilla doesn't think material things are very important . Rex is a “pack rat” who likes to collect things . Priscilla thinks Rex is too devoted to material things . Priscilla's priorities are volunteering and doing housework and yard work for senior citizens . She thinks Rex should get interested in volunteering . In my story, Priscilla said "I wish Rex would sell everything he owns and donate the money to charity !" . Brad asked "Why is that ?" .

Some answers Priscilla could give are --

1 ) “Material things are bondage ! If Rex sells everything he owns, he'll know complete freedom !” .

2 ) “Everything he owns that he doesn't really need is a link in a chain that enslaves him ! Acts of charity are the key to set him free, and freedom is its own reward !” .

3 ) “Material things interfere with him volunteering and being a servant !” .

4 ) “Jesus Christ told somebody to sell everything he owned and give the money to the poor !”

5 ) “Rex has it so easy ! He SHOULD give a hand to people who aren't so lucky ! Besides, the best thing anybody can do with their money is donate it to charity !” ?

6 ) “Material things don’t make your life better -- in fact they distract you from what you really should be focusing on – your loved ones !”

Update:

Priscilla might think Rex should get rid of everything and start with a clean slate . “Sell everything he owns” is a bigger sacrifice than “sell the unnecessary stuff” . “Sell everything he owns” opens the door to an entirely new beginning with all – new priorities – volunteering and doing housework and yard work for senior citizens .  Which possible response or ideas do you like best ? Do you have any better ideas ? Do you have any other comments ? Thank you in advance for your answers .

Update 2:

Priscilla and Rex live with their parents, and their looking forward to getting their own homes . Their father is a millionaire . Growing up in that situation, Priscilla realized that money definitely doesn’t buy happiness . A twenty – nine year old man dating a nineteen year old girl does have a controversial aspect to it, but it does happen . You might have had an aunt and uncle, a great – aunt and great – uncle,  grandparents, or great – grandparents who seemed perfect for each other, and

Update 3:

he was ten years older than she was . In the “New Teen Titans” comic book, a nineteen year old girl had a twenty – nine year old boyfriend . The writer was okay with that, and most of the readers seemed to like him and approve of their relationship, and this was a perfectly respectable, family friendly comic book .

5 Answers

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  • Amber
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Your setup makes no sense as others have pointed out.

    Though not illegal that age gap is creepy. So you might want to fix that, unless it's what you're aiming for.

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  • 2 months ago

    Just wondering. How does Priscilla pay her bills and rent, and buy her food?

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  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you want to write a story, or a book, the whole point is that the descriptions, the title, the plot, the characters, the names, the places - everything - has to come from YOU.

    If those things come from other people, it’s not YOUR story at all.

    And if you really can’t manage to invent those things, with no help from anyone else, you’re either not ready to write a story or you just aren’t interested enough.

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  • 2 months ago

    Adding to Tina's concerns, how is it that Brad, a grown man, is with a girl barely out of her teens? At their present ages, I find the age gap full-on creepy. Their levels of maturity are going to be radically different.

    (In the present day mileau, she's on the Florida beach partying through spring break and he's working from home and observing social distancing.)

    And I find the control Priscilla feels entitled to exert over her own brother ugly and unrealistic. Rex is entitled to collect material things if they please him, and what he does with both his time and his money is not Priscilla's decision to make or even influence. She can lead by example, but any dialogue you suggest will be preachy--the kind of thing that makes me close a book, never to be re-opened.

    If you want your work to influence readers to consider charitable works, be far more subtle than this.

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  • Tina
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    But how does Priscilla pay for food and rent, and how does she think her brother is going to?

    And just as a matter of interest why is there only a year between Priscilla and Brad?

    Edit: The fact that Priscilla's father is a milliionaire makes all the difference to the situation. No wonder she and her brother are looking forward to having their own houses. In this situation her spending time doing housework for old people is a rather self-indulgent hobby, when - if her father is intending to leave her money - has possibly already set up a trust fund for her and her brother - she could make a real difference.

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