My parents are divorcing. Is it too soon for my Dad to be dating again, read below?
So Mom and Dad split in July for the 4th time. Mom told Dad she is done, also for the 4th time at least. So Dad moved out and summer was wrecked for us 4 children (teens and young adults). Now they have signed the divorce papers but the divorce is not finalized by any means. It will be in another few months.
My Dad has been dating since late January. I met the woman and she seems nice enough but I feel almost like he is cheating as it is so soon and on paper they are still married. He is taking his girlfriend up to Virginia to meet his sister and her family (we live in South Carolina).
This is all too soon but am I being rigid? Is it too soon for him to be dating?
- DavidLv 63 months agoFavorite Answer
First, a marriage is only between two people. That means a DIVORCE is only between two people, also. As much as you'd like to believe that it's all about you and your siblings...none of you 4 have any right to express an opinion about the actions of your parents, as far as staying married or getting divorced goes.
Once you get it straight that this is a matter that ONLY concerns your mother and your father...
You need to know that there are two stages of divorce...the emotional divorce and the legal divorce. The two never happen at the exact same moment. You can be emotionally divorced years before you are legally divorced. On the other hand, you can be legally divorced years before you are emotionally divorced, also.
So let's analyze your parents' marriage: You say they split for the fourth time, and that MOM told DAD that SHE is done...
OK, so this tells me that (most likely) they both have been emotionally divorced for years, probably. In that case, the actual legal divorce just boils down to paperwork. Yes, it is just paperwork.
Only your father can decide if he's ready to start dating again or not. Considering he has a girlfriend, I think we know what he decided...
YOU, need to keep your nose out of it. It's not your business.
- PatriciaLv 73 months ago
If the divorce papers were signed by your parents, then they are divorced.
And why would your parents stay together if they aren't feeling compatible or love for each other anymore? Why live in misery and discomfort?
I'm not sure why your summer was "wrecked" because of your parents' issues? Really, i don't. Unless they put you kids into the middle of their issues. I guess in that case, it would be hard on you kids. But you said you're teens and young adults, so I'm sure you've been there for years observing your parents and the fact that they've drifted apart?
It's not up to you to decide whether it's "too soon" for your dad to be dating. If he is, he is. It's normal for adults to want companionship.
maybe change your focus - and focus on yourself, your life, your responsibilities, your fun.
- audreyLv 73 months ago
Things have changed since the Coronavirus. Death is right around the corner. Let him be happy while he can.
- iansandLv 73 months ago
Let the poor man have some happiness.
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- Anonymous3 months ago
If this is the 4th time your parents have broken up, the marriage has been long since dead. They just haven't accepted it.
- Dr. StephanieLv 73 months ago
1. Its not too soon, as they are definitely separated and divorcing.
2. Its really none of your business whether he chooses to date now, or not. Why is this affecting YOU so much? Be glad that he has found a bit of happiness.
- No MercyLv 73 months ago
we are all plummeting towards our imminent death, for some sooner for some later, there is absolutely no reason to waste your life on waiting. your father is living his life, good for him, I hope he has found happiness for many years