Resenting my bf for crashing my car. How do I make it stop?
To start the story off, I totaled my car in February 2019 and a week later my boyfriend also lost his car because of the transmission. I was unemployed at the time and my boyfriend was starting a new job, so my parents were nice enough to gift me the old van since they were moving to Australia and couldn’t take it. Now let’s fast forward to December 2019, we were on our way somewhere at 2am when my boyfriend thought he was in the clear to run a red light because he thought nobody was coming, well turns out someone was coming because we got t-boned by a pick up truck that was going 65mph. At first I wasn’t even really mad at him because he felt terribly sorry for what he did and I could tell he was sorry, but now that reality has sunk in, I realize I don’t have the freedom I once had and it’s frustrating. I’m happy he was able to get a new car shortly after and he told me to ask for a ride whenever I need one but If he doesn’t feel like driving, that means I don’t get to go anywhere. Even though he barely says no and his reasons for saying no are valid(tired from work, traffic, etc), I still feel upset because I feel trapped. He told me he plans on helping me get a new car, and he told me he’ll teach me how to drive the new car but part of me just feels slightly upset with him. I don’t always feel upset, just when I realize that I can’t go anywhere. Am I wrong for feeling this way and how do I stop feeling this?
- No MercyLv 71 month ago
what does mean " he will teach me how to drive a new car"????? is a new car a helicopter or smth`? if u know how to drive a car and have a driving's license why he can not let u to drive his car when he does not feel like driving and why does he need to teach u how to drive a new car? I m totally confused. and if he was the reason the car was destroyed he should buy u another used car instead of damaged one.
- David B.Lv 71 month ago
It seems that you already decided that it is wrong otherwise you would not be asking how to stop feeling this way. Your reaction to all of this seems pretty normal but a little immature. You resent the fact that he has a car and you don't and all that comes along with that. It is unfair especially when he is the one responsible for all of this. The simple solution is to get another car. I don't know what I can possibly tell you that will change the way you feel otherwise. I know saying it is easier than doing it but the fact remains that once the real source of your anger is removed so will your being upset. But remember I said your reaction was a little immature? I said that because life is going to result in unfair things that are going to affect you in some way. The sooner you learn to cope with that reality the happier you'll be. When I say to cope with I'm not necessarily meaning accepting those things but rather not allowing them to affect you or your behavior. When you are able to do that you have grown and improved in character.