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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

How often should my wife be having sexual intercourse with me?

I believe many of you might be thinking I am a pig and should concentrate on the relationship more.

But please bear with me.

Me and my wife have been together 6 years this April. We used to have intimatr sex every day. After our first child was born, this changed to once a week and i was fine with that.

After our second child was born, we weren't in a financial or emotional position to have another so in result we both agreed to go along with steralisation as her health could potentially worsen.

Now I am 34 years old, she is 35. Since January we have had sex twice which is a big improvement over the last year like not having it at all for the 6 months prior.

I have really worked on myself like paying attention to her and giving her space and being emotionally invested in her but nothing seems to work. I ask for it, every other day and the response is always the same that she's tired, on her period, stressed, she can't get sexually stimulated because she believes something wrong.

I hate to admit but feel like i am not even in a relationship, I am sex starved. My libido is always high and I can't even express it because of constant rejection. I am not ugly so I could easily cheat on tinder but the problem is I am madly in love with her and i want intimacy not random sex.

I am tired, ive looked online and sterealisation doesnt affect sex drive. Relationship studies told me its common for men to get rejected when the women feel like men have no other options. What do i do

50 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    This is not normal and unreasonable to expect a partner to stay in almost sexless marriage is miserable. You already talked with her about this. You need to get serious cutting off sexual relations with your partner is a form of abuse and will cause the other spouse to cheat. You also said that you worked on emotional investing which is good because sex starts outside the bedroom as well. You need to both go to couple counseling to try and work on your marriage. She needs more of explanation besides I'm tired everyday or else this will ruin your marriage. You will grow to resent and hate your wife. You need to tell your wife too that you need more physical intimacy. If she cannot do that show her your serious by moving out the house. Create a deadline in your mind for sexual intimacy. It does not take six months to decide. If you two cannot reach a decision even with the help of talking with counselors then it may be time to reconsider your marriage. Don't let people fool you a sexless marriage is miserable. Get out while you still have your good looks, money, and personality if the person is not willing too change. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Start foreplay the moment you wake up...

    Help with the kids.

    Help with the laundry.

    Bring her a cup of coffee.

    Send her a random "IL love you" text in the middle of the day.

    Bring take-out food home for dinner.

    Hire a babysitter during a weekend afternoon, who puts them to bed, so when you both get home at night, the house is yours.....

    I was a mom of two active boys and it was exhausting. I had nothing left to give at the end of the day! When the hubs began helping out, I not only felt appreciated, I had the energy for lots of intimacy.

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  • 1 month ago

    If you want intimancy then start there get a babysitter take things slowly dress up buy her a gift take her out or stay in give her a massage any little thing to put her in the mood even a romantic movie and see where it goes from there. People sometimes forget what brought them together in the first place remind her!

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Problem is you got married, she’s stopped needing to keep you happy, you’ve got kids and no doubt keep the roof over her head, so there you go she’s entitled to half your sh!t now so she’s nothing to loose

    • 4 weeks agoReport

      Absofuckinglutely the best answer on here.

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  • 1 month ago

    I think twice a week is enough for me, if she is not in the mood I get her to strip for me, talk to your wife and see if she will strip for you, you can watch and satisfy yourself that way, its sexy too

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  • 1 month ago

    You can't expect to have sex all the time.  Things go in fazes.

    • ko1 month agoReport

      Every six months isn't a phase. Don't be ridiculous.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    the question should be ... should I divorce 

    yes

    Ask your self ,,,, why be married? you are room mates not married. 

    it may not have been her plan but it is what it is... If you car was this unreliable you would get a new one 

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  • Mr. L.
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Physiologically women are very, very different from men.  I had the same problem after my wife went through menopause.  She had no interest in sex at all.

    For a woman, the physical stimulus needs a jump start after children, work, family problems, menopause, etc...  

    She needs to make a change in the way she thinks about herself and sex as part of her life.  For my wife it took about 3 months of seeing a sex therapist as a couple.  once she realized that sex is some of the best fun two people can have we do it all the time.  Nothing on TV, can't sleep, hey, they're now opportunities. 

    You will not be able to "fix" your wife, she needs to make the decision and do it herself.  You should talk to her and emphasize the importance of sex as you see it.  if her answer is I don't feel that way or sex just isn't important, then an ultimatum may be needed. 

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  • 1 month ago

    She has her children and cannot have more, so her "job" is done biologically. 

    You do need to consider the reasons why your wife no longer wants to make love with you. Reading books like Dr Phil McGraw's excellent Relationship Rescue helps to give us deeper insights into how relationships work. (I wish I got commission, as I recommend it to so many people!). As he writes in the book, it isn't only or people whose relationships are in trouble. There are other excellent books, of course.  

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  • 1 month ago

    You're going to have to tell her she is going to have to step it up. You were a fool to let your sex life go from having it everyday to once a week, it's obvious that your wife is not getting anything from having sex with you, if she was, she would be wanting it more than she is. The next time you have sex with her, you raise her legs up and enter her vagina at an upward angle, the front part of her vagina is very sensitive, tease her, only put 3 inches inside her and move your penis so slowly and then when you are about to go, lay it to her and see if you can't have 2 orgasms, just lay on her and move your penis back and forth so slowly again until you regain your stamina and give it to her again. Maybe she'll get 1. You might get yourself some testosterone pills, cut them in half and give it to her. A guy I worked with that his wife' doctor had prescribed her some and he said she was wearing him out, wanting sex all the time. He was the one wanting some time off.

    • Herman
      Lv 4
      1 month agoReport

      My wife went from any time at all to NEVER.  She is now my EX.

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