I don’t know what happened? ?
I need help, and am to ashamed and scared to ask people I know. I recently went to a party (I’m a college student) and I got drunk... I ended up going home with a boy I know and we had sex. I can’t remember 90% of it. I know I was uncomfortable and at times it hurt. I know I didn’t say no. But I know that in a sober state of mind I would have never done that. I was a virgin. I don’t know what to do.... I try to keep occupied with homework or other things but keep finding myself crying about it and I just want it to go away. I hate myself and keep replaying that night asking myself if only I didn’t go out or didn’t drink.
- 2 weeks ago
When you consent to sex you don't consent to be hurt. Sober or drunk a sane guy stops when you let him know you are in pain. This guy abused you. That's why you're crying. If he was very drunk as well doesn't excuse the fact he kept plowing right through your vagina when you were clearly in pain. I'm also not convinced you weren't drugged either. If someone is slipping in and out of consciousness drunk they have alchoholic poisioning and need a stomach pumping. They are likely to die without one. You will never know but one thing is for sure, this guy isn't a decent person. You need to talk to a therapist about this and heal from this. This was very traumatising and this isn't your fault. You got drunk and contented to sex, you never consented to be hurt. Also, if he drugged you, then he plane and simple committed a crime. I am really sorry this happened to you. Not all men are like this creep. There are good men out there. Please seek talking therapy.
I wouldn't go to the police because you aren't sure what happened. I would try and figure out what happened. I would also stay away from a guy who at best hurt me sexually, I don't care what his excuse is. There is no excuse for causing someone pain when you are having sex with them. Still, you really have no enough evidence that he willingly comitted a sex crime. He might be just a clueless idiot who got just as drunk as you are and had clumsy sex with a virgin. Maybe you don't remember it cos he is such a horrible lover you repressed it. Please cut him out of your life forever and focus on healing.
- geetarman56Lv 71 month ago
You really need to get over it and past the fact you didn't really choose to lose virginity that way or at that time. What's done is done. Period. Move on to a new chapter of your life.
- Pedal powerLv 61 month ago
Just ignore it, it'll get better with time, learn from that experience.
- EdnaLv 71 month ago
You're feeling remorse, because you got drunk at a party and went home with a guy you slightly knew and had sex with him.
Now you know what can happen when you drink to excess and get drunk. Stop beating yourself up about it, but don't do it again.
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- chris nLv 71 month ago
You made a mistake. Sounds like you've got PTSD. Doesn't sound like it was actual rape but who knows. Have you spoken to this guy since and asked him about it? Talk to a counsellor.
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
Most universities have student counseling centers on campus. You need to go see someone to talk about this.
- Anonymous1 month ago
Anne, you need to go to the police with your story, because it sounds like you were raped by this guy. Acquaintance or "date" rape is a huge problem on college campuses, and your story is a classic example of how that crime happens. You also need to get yourself to the doctor, so you can be checked for STI's and pregnancy, as well as be tested for evidence that you were given one of the date rape drugs. These drugs often cause memory loss and blackouts, and it's very common for drinks given out at parties to contain them. Guys deliberately put them in there so that they can force young women into behaviors that they wouldn't normally participate in.
After you contact the police and your doctor, the next thing you need to do is call the local rape crisis center in your area and arrange to meet with a therapist there, who can help you work through your feelings of being violated (which you were) and your guilt and shame over what happened.
One other thing to keep in mind: just because you may know or have known your attacker slightly DOES NOT mean that he was allowed to have sex with you without your consent, and it most certainly does not mean he was allowed to drug you with something like Rohypnol or Ketamine to get you in the sack. This is the reason why collecting medical and physical evidence of what happened is so important, Anne. It's critical that you get yourself examined and tested, because that will help to build your case against this guy. According to the FBI's center for violent crimes, at least 75% of all rape victims KNOW their attacker.
Like everyone else here, I hope that you're able to get some help, and that you're able to get this guy who attacked you caught and put in jail where he belongs. Date rape is NOT a normal or acceptable part of any college experience, period. You have been forced to learn a hard lesson, and it's important that you get help so you can heal. NO ONE ever deserves what you went through.
- CrustyCurmudgeonLv 71 month ago
What happened happened. It isn't a sentence, it's a learning experience. I hope it doesn't result in an unwanted pregnancy.
- HermanLv 41 month ago
There is not much you can do but make sure you are not pregnant and try
to put it out of your mind. Maybe if you are lucky he won't recognize you.