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My mom charges me rent and not my brother, should this bother me?

I recently had to move back home after a bad breakup with my ex boyfriend and it's temporary until I graduate this spring (i'll be 24 this summer)

I work full time and I make a decent amount to afford living alone. I pay my mother a great amount for rent. Plus I do all the grocery shopping, cleaning, buying cleaning supplies, cooking, etc to show her that I appreciate her welcoming me back home.

Ironically, my older brother (27) dropped out of college and began working at Apple full time since November. He's an aspiring artist and invests a lot of his money into his music but he doesn't want to contribute to bills...not even $60/month because he said it was too much. He doesn't even buy his own food, and usually asks me to borrow money every week. He also doesn't do his duties of simply taking the trash out everyday,..so my mom looks to me to pick up where my brother lacks or even get frustrated with me when I'm not on my toes on taking care of his dog. My mom tends to make excuses for him but complains to me how she hates how selfish he is..but nothing has changed. She claims he's "going through something" and to be patient. I feel bad for feeling this way, but it feels a bit unfair

28 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Find a roommate or two to split costs with and move out. It is unfair but it is also her house/her rules. So suck it up or move out.

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  • 1 month ago

    GOD... YOU make enough to pay things for you mother so do it and stop worrying about your brother... Maybe he is much better at sex then you are to.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    There's a double standard.

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  • 1 month ago

    It is a bit unfair, actually it is a hell of a lot more than a bit unfair. Where's you dad?

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  • 1 month ago

    Its very unfair you would think he's the younger sibling with how much she babies him. She needs to quit using you for money and needs to quit venting to you about him. You're her daughter not her therapist. If I were you i would move out now so they can't use you anymore. Don't let them take advantage of your kindness.

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  • 1 month ago

    you cant control what your mom does but I would not loan or give your brother a dime, if he is working, let him pay his own way, no excuse is good enough for him to ask for a loan

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  • 1 month ago

    i would move out

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  • 1 month ago

    There are going to be things that feel unfair all throughout life; I'm sure you know that by now. It bothers you, I think that makes sense. It won't help you or anyone else to tell you that you shouldn't feel what you feel. You have a choice, you can either continue about your life as you've planned, saving up to move into a place of your own when you graduate. Pay the rent, maybe scale back on paying for all the other things for the household. I wonder if it'd feel different if you were only buying groceries you use, cleaning your own messes, taking turns with mom buying cleaning supplies, and trading off cooking days or just cooking for yourself most of the time? It's okay to do that. You've told your mom you appreciate her support, you pay rent for the upkeep of the home/utilities, you don't expect to eat food she's purchased, you clean up after yourself. That's okay, you aren't the one who has to decide to have boundaries with your brother, sounds like you've got them. Mom has to decide if she's ready to stop babying him and hold him to expectations.

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  • 1 month ago

    Ask yourself why you're buying all the groceries, cleaning supplies, doing all the cooking and more? Seems to me everyone who lives in the same home with you are all capable adults. And you're paying rent. Why do you have to pay for everything else too?

    As far as your brother goes, your mother has enabled him to be a freeloader and to be lazy. It's her fault.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Well you are your enabling him also

    If you're giving him money but don't worry about it he'll turn out to be an idiot in you'll turn out to be responsible

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