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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Does anyone else under 40 get called "ma'am " in non Southern states by service workers?

I live in Los Angeles. I am in my early 30s. I get bugged out and sick to my stomach when a service worker adds on "ma'am' at the end of each sentence when they speak to me. And why not speak to somebody with out adding ma'am at the end? Like I know they are talking to me, there is no 12 year old hanging around. And the SAME person will call somebody else "Miss" or and some times call me "ma'am" and some times call me "miss' and I watch some of these service workers and MOST do not add "ma'am ' to the end of sentence usually unless they are talking to a OLD looking woman. They say nothing or "Miss" I am well in shape, I don't dress matronly. I dress in tank tops, leggings, short skirts and t shirts. I have long blonde hair and I don't have enough wrinkles to talk about. I don't wear heavy make up, my eyes are wide unlike old peoples whose eyes get tiny and droopy so I don't get it and I am not married so what makes them think I would be ? just because I am not 20? Could it be cause I lighten my hair to a very light blonde? you can still see it's not white from age? I am just so annoyed by this to the point I want to punch them in the face. What is the ma'am about? Some times I feel they do it to be shady and it's not just really young people, people older than me too?

Update:

As I STATED I watched these service workers and to most people they don't even call most guys "sir" unless they are old and don't call most young or old women anything or say Miss or NOTHING but ma'am the hell out of me, that's what is annoying me, if they did it to everyone, it would not be upsetting

Update 2:

So you say it's respect when I stood by and watched how they interchange with other customers and some don't call hardly any other woman ma'am unless she has a face full of wrinkles and bags under her eyes, and  call young guys bro and old ones sir or don't say a word to anyone hardly or call one girl Miss and call me "ma'am" and some times the same person calls me ma'am and some times Miss. this is what's a getting me

Update 3:

So waiting for my food is stalking them and while waiting for my food and than eating it and I can clearly hear them talking to other customers is stalking? LOL

Update 4:

than why NOT  call all those girls and women ma'am? Do I deserve more respect? I am sure half would be more peeved by me. look around how many females hate ma'am.  But when I am waiting for my food that I ordered online or sitting there eating I can hear how they talk to others 

Update 5:

I meant I am sure half of those women would be more peeved than me, not by me if called ma'am. So why not call all those females ma'am??????? it's either nothing with a Miss here and there most of them

Update 6:

so all those other women who they don't add ma'am on at all and give NO little to or once in a while Miss deserves less respect than me?

Update 7:

and some of the same workers calls me miss sometimes and calls me ma'am other times, so Some times I am a old lady and some times I am a girl? wow, some fountain of youth and aging processes I have going on. And some call me "ma'am" constantly and don't do it to most other females

Update 8:

I sound like I could be a danger to society because I made a rant how I hear them calling most other females "MISS" or no title and ma'am the hell out of me? Wow , you need your medication.  if they called all these females ma'am I would not be saying a word, and most females would be more angry and upset than me. Some are so devastated on their first ma'am they almost have a break down and you call me crazy?

9 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The great irony of course is that you DO live in a "southern" state. I'm your age and I also live in L.A. and the only time I can recall being called "ma'am" was in San Diego and that's probably because of the heavy military culture there. But it's certainly not something be to this upset about. Honestly, you shouldn't let this affect your day.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Anne Smith1 month agoReport

      and also odd, when I was 19 in Connecticut somebody called me 'ma'am" and another girl "Miss" just because I wear make up and have curves? Ridiculous

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Ma'am is a polite and respectful way of addressing a woman of any age, especially when you don't know her name. I'm not aware that it's just a "Southern" term; it's used everywhere. My DIL lives in Maine and she a native of that state. If she doesn't know a woman's name, she addresses her as "Ma'am". She also addresses men of all ages (if she doesn't know their name) as "Sir". 

    Look: -- Queen Elizabeth II is addressed as "Ma'am" by the citizens of her country and by all her family members, and she has been ever since she came to the Throne when she was 25 years old. If it's good enough for the Queen, it should be good enough for you.

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  • 1 month ago

    You sound like a lunatic. I couldn't even read through all your question and updates. Just try getting a real problem and this might not be such a big deal anymore. 

    You really ought to seek professional help if this makes you sick to your stomach and brings up violent impulses. You sound like you could be a danger to society. 

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i wouldnt worry about it, they couldve called you worse stuff

    • ...Show all comments
    • Anne Smith1 month agoReport

      Edna, you are rude. I am only complaining about being called ma'am because as I wait for my food I can hear them call other females Miss or no title. Men are sir and have that ONE title

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  • When I was 12, my parents would take me to a nice restaurant. The waitress would smile at me and say, well, hello ma'am.

    I think it's just a way to treat you like a lady. You call people Ma'am when you don't know the persons name but you want to treat you like a lady.

    In LA it is weird to be called that as they are in the fast lane out there and etiquette is not priority. Usually they use pronouns. If they want to make it a point to get your attention, they'll just say, excuse me.

    I don't think you should get worried. Its not a sign that you are old or they perceive you as old. They are showing respect and treating you like a lady and has nothing to do with age.

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  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I don't know where you got this crazy idea that calling someone 'ma'am' is in any way an insult or suggesting that they're of any particular age.  It's NOT.

    It is in no way disrespectful or rude.

    Your reaction is, frankly, insane!

    • Fireplace
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      Exactly. Insane. Lunacy.

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  • Wilma
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    What are they suppose to call you? Would you rather it be Hey b*tch sit over here?? Grow up and get over your entitled self. Snowflake.

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  • Jolene
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Yeah, how horrible that people are being respectful.  Wait...so you stalked them? You hung around to see how they talked to other people? Are you some kind of creep? Get over it. They were being polite. I call my high school students "ma'am" and "sir", and I live in New England, not the south.

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  • 1 month ago

    I don't get why being polite offends you so much

    • Fireplace
      Lv 6
      1 month agoReport

      Because she's a lunatic. 

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