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Are there new rules of dating I don't know about?

To start, I haven't been in a serious relationship in 4-5 years when I went back to school.  I just started to date a year ago.  That said, I am dating 3 women right now, none of which I have asked to be official.  One day, one of them, whom I am also sleeping with, found out I am dating other women and she got upset.  I told her I haven't made anyone official yet so I am still dating around.  I made it clear to her, from the start, that I am looking for a serious LTR so I am not just causal dating or wasting her time.  I take every date seriously. I also told her I only sleep with women who I am extremely attracted to which I've told her.  Granted, I do have my doubts with her but overall, I don't make anyone official so easily and would take my time.  However, her definition of "Dating" is seeing one person at a time regardless of being official or not which made her upset and possibly jealous.  To be clear, I have not asked or made anyone official.  That said, am I wrong for dating multiple women without disclosing that to her?  I thought when you're single and not official with anyone, you're allowed to date others.

Update:

FYI, I only been sleeping with her.  Not other women I am dating if this helps

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    the best way to keep things from blowing up in your face is to date women without having sex with them. As soon as you DO have sex with one, you stop dating other women .. you don't have to commit. But women have NEVER been happy if you are sleeping with them but dating other women (even if you are not sleeping with those other women).

    Now you know that your behavior is selfish and cruel, and you can change.

    Women are NOT men. They look for love, bonding and commitment with the SAME single-pointed intensity that YOU look for sex. So if you are playing the field, expect to make enemies out of a lot of women.

    Yes, you are allowed to date others. Just don't have SEX with them. Once you have sex, the rules change and even if it is not official, you stop dating others.

    • Greg2 months agoReport

      U make it sound like I'm a player when I'm not lol.  I'm the type who doesn't sleep around.  Never was and never will.  However, men AND women have needs including sex.  I believe sex is part of a relationship regardless if the status.  And I agree.  I am also looking for bond, love and commitment

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I agree with Gypsyfish, one of the reasons people want to know if you're seeing anyone else is because they want to take precautions against STD's.

    ALSO, as a general dating rule, having it ALL out on the table by the 1st date in regards to casual/open/multiple-partners/etc is ESSENTIAL. What you may think of as a careful selection process, the other will see as you playing them and saying they are not satisfactory. Maybe consider why it is that you've been on multiple dates with these 3 women and still can't narrow it down. Maybe none of them especially attract you and maybe you're just confused after a long hiatus.

    • Greg2 months agoReport

      I've only been dating the woman in question for about 2.5 months.  The others only a couple weeks.  I'm not indecisive.  I'm being careful just like women picking out their wedding dress.  And you maybe right.  My dating gap may cloud my judgment a little

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  • 2 months ago

    Here's the problem. It used to be perfectly fine to date more than one person at a time while you figured out who you wanted to spend time with. That was before "dating" became synonymous with "having sex with". That's why people expect monogamous relationships immediately. I agree that no one should want to date someone who is sleeping around, for hygienic reasons if nothing else. 

    • Greg2 months agoReport

      I clearly told her I am only sleeping with her but she was still uncomfortable that I am seeing other women.  Also, how is it different when I went from one serious LTR that included sex to another serious LTR whom I slept with?

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