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How do I help my alcoholic mother?

I am not really sure how to start this, but my mom has been through a lot lately. She discovered that my dad has been cheating, they are planning a divorce, she has problems with walking. She had problems with alcohol before all this and recently it got worse. I have tried everything to make her stop drinking, but nothing is working. She went to a doctor because of her walking and to a psychologist because of her mental health, but they claim that there isn’t anything wrong with her. I feel like I am at my limits, what do I do? 

5 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    To help alcoholic man is difficult.

    To help alcoholic woman is next to impossible. 

    Husbands who have alchogol problems often begin drinking when they don't feel love from their wives.

    Love is feminine energy, 

    So when a woman chooses alchogol over Love, she is no longer capable of giving Love to herself and others. This is why this is so scary to witness.

    I'm pretty sure your mother's  husband is also greatly responsible for the drinking problem worsening. If I'm right, life will make him pay.

    God is going to deal with your mother, so do not hesitate and bring her to the good reputable Church! Let her drink holy water for a change and pray!

    See, an alchogolic husband heals/recovers faster from alchogol disease when his wife gets stronger mentally/emotionally/spiritually/physically.

    Let's say, she levels up, begins to take better care of herself, starts to desire better quality things in life etc. Her husband, if he still loves her, is going to feel like the last pig on earth drinking beside a woman who loves and respects herself, who gives love to her children and others. This would be his turning point where his mind begins to fight alchogol urges.

     With an alchogolic woman it doesn't work like this. Alchogol shuts down her mind, her will power, the heart begins to "shrink".

    Essentially, she goes against herself, her feminine nature, her beauty, her health, her wellbeing, her safety, her future... she is going inward in time.

    Living in black hole is suicide. 

    And often Faith/religious believes is what stops people from taking their own lives. 

    Alchogol only postpones the inevitable. 

    Alchogolic mother does not feel danger of her own situation.

    And understanding the real dangers of alcoholism is important.

    If you want to help your mother, help her identify her realistic point A [Aligning with Now].

    She can begin moving forward when she objectively sees where she is at. 

    After that mark out points of her possible/desired destinations. 

    For ex:

    B - Beauty/Bliss

    C - Crap

    D - Death

    E - Enlightenment 

    F - everything is F*cked

    G - Greatness

    H - Hospital/Hospise/Holistic Doctor

    P - Psychic 

    I think one of the worst things that happens to alchogolics is M [Mental Institution or Asylum for insane lost souls]

    The process described above is also known as Strategic Planning. 

    Btw there was New Moon on February 23rd. The first 3 days of a new growing moon are the best to catch the new wave of fresh change. 

    One of the ways to achieve that is through the change in the body.

    For your mother, I'd say set a 10 day walking challenge and do it together. Walk more than what she is used to. Let's say if she normally walks 1km, do 1.20km. Do 2km for yourself. 

    You'd be surprised what that does. 

    My mother got stronger as I got stronger.

    And my father got stronger as my brother build his physical endurance. True story, we all connected!

    Pushing your body through the limit, opens us to new possibilities... new astral, if you will...

    It also strengthes our mind, our will power.

    Have you ever seen a mentally ill athlete?

    I haven't.

    Athletes have very strong will power which is achieved through intense physical training. 

    These people have a lot under control and their bodies can handle it.

    It's no brainer for them to get up and go while an average person feels like he needs to work with resistance, sort out blockages, then to go through them or worse find a reason why today is not a good day: "Maybe next Monday"

    And then when the person finally moves like never before, the body crushes. Why? Because endurance is built over time and it takes consistent practice. 

    Anything physical takes time.

    Anything mental takes no time with a good teacher. It's like instant enlightnent or so depending on each person's individual awareness, openness and realistic speed of learning/processing the material.

    - watch "What The Health" to get a better picture

    - Teal Swan's video titled "Addiction and How to overcome Addiction" is also good.

    These "mental gymnastics" can be potentially just as bad as alchogol, if you ask me.

    It overheats the head.

    And when the head is on fire for extended periods of time, it negatively affects the body and the person feels "burnt", looses control of the body, or body shuts down for no reason.

    While alcohol may relieve some of that mental  thirst,  it also opens the person to all kinds of spirits.

    Some say that cold/ice wards off evil energies.

    I know mint is good. 

    Mint tea

    Mint shampoo

    I also have CBD oil by Swanson vitamins with mint that cools my eyes very well. And eyes are extensions of our brain, so it works. 

    Maybe that would be a good start for your mom.

    I'd say anything that can get her out of her comfort zone is good, including what I wrote.

    Remember the saying "Healthy spirit is in healthy body" or "Strong body, strong spirit".


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  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    There is nothing you can do, unfortunately.  The alcohol is her biggest problem, by far.  But that problem won't be solved until she (your mother) decides to solve it.  Even then, the process of solving it could take many years...a whole lifetime, in fact.

    While there is nothing that you CAN do, there are things that you SHOULD NOT do.  Don't be her enabler.  She has to have the will to change her lifestyle for the better.  She will never find that will if she is too comfortable with the status quo.  At some point, she might ask to move in with you or another child of hers.  Make sure that you and your siblings are ready to give her a firm "NO" when she asks.  I'm sure you don't want your mom to be homeless.  But here is reality...the alcohol is going to kill her slowly, OR the alcohol is going to kill her quickly.  But the alcohol IS going to kill her somehow, if she doesn't shake that demon.  Compared to alcohol, being homeless would be a MINOR problem.  Homelessness itself isn't likely to kill her.  She might be very very uncomfortable without a place to stay, but she will be ALIVE.  And if she gets tired of being homeless, she might decide it's time to stop drinking.  

    Tough love time.

    • eiiby171 month agoReport

      Well, the point is that I still live with her, because I am underage and I currently go to high school. Simply ignoring my mother is impossible, because she’s has a lot of influence on me. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Your poor mother is going through the wringer, isn't she? She needs your love and support, and as much as possible from her own parents and any siblings she has. Talk to them, and also contact al-anon, an organisation that works to support alcoholics and their families. Good Luck - she'll come through it.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Doesn't even sound like the drinking is the worst of her problems. If this psychologist has given her a clean bill of emotional health find a new one, because she clearly needs treatment.

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  • Linda
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I really feel for you, Eiiby, because you obviously love your Mother very much and want to help her, but she doesn't want help enough to change her ways. How do you help an alcoholic if they don't want help and how do you lead a horse to water if the horse refuses to follow? You cannot. You can suggest it, pray about it, and let her know how much she means to you. Does she have friends or family you can turn to that can help her? Try that and keep urging her to seek help for her alcoholism, if not for her health. I hope for your sake and hers that she will listen one day before it is too late.

    Source(s): Been there
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