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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Is my mother a narcissist?

It's took me 28years of me know living on this earth to realized she's not exactly normal like a mother should be. She's always out me down when anything good happens in my life. If I learn a talent etc she'll rolls her eyes and say "we'll see how long that lasts" just very negative in general. She loves that I haven't done much with my life. She doesn't have to say it because I know in her face she does. I had something happen to me recently that I thought I was raped by someone at a party and I told my mother. The first thing she said was "well if he did rape you, it was your fault for going in the house" :/ this was a new low for her. Even saying that to her daughter. I'm really sick of her and don't know what to do. I feel emotionally drained around her. We both have our own homes in the same street. 

17 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Maybe she is jealous of you. Sometimes mothers are jealous of their daughter. I'm sorry you got raped. Your mother shouldn't be so very cruel to you. Are you interested in going to therapy with her or do you think it is a lost cause...

    My mother was pretty good about most things but sometimes she had a problem with my weight..I was smaller than her. Mother's can have vanity just like anyone else. She wasn't even too awful about my weight she made a comment a few times that she knew I would be fat some day...and told me to quit fighting it because I always worked out six days a week. Have you talked to your mother about your concerns...you have to do something about it or accept that she will not change and keep your distance from her.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    No.  Narcissism is something completely different.  Negative people are not inherently narcissists.  

    I am willing to bet you didn't wake up this morning to discover your mother to be like this suddenly.  Instead she has been like this for a long time.  So the problem isn't her, but your refusal to accept her for the flawed person that she is.  You keep seeking approval from a person you know that won't give it to you.  Is that her fault, or yours for not learning from your mistakes?  And now … her new low … is that she didn't come to your rescue and care when you told her about something that happened to you at a party?  You are an adult, that type of care ended when your childhood ended.  You have to now take responsibility for yourself like other adults and stop blaming Mom.  When you accept Mom for the imperfect person she is, the same way she accepts you for the imperfect person you are, it gets a lot easier to get along.

    I apologize if I come off scolding you.  I was in your shoes once and refused to accept my parents for the people they were until I was 31.  But when I did, the weight on out relationship ended and things changed immensely.  I am only hoping the same for you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    nowhere near as bad as donald trump

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Not sure if it is narcissism but it does sound like she has character flaws. My Dad invalidates me and I know how it hurts. It could be narcissism but I think it sounds more like character flaws. Narcissism is if it is designed to make her look good. My sister is a narcissist for example. 

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    sounds like she could be

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  • 1 month ago

    Why did you get a place so close to her knowing how you feel about her. She's right about 1 thing though, some girls does do stupid things like putting themselves in a situation where she might get raped or killed. A female in Alabama did just that about 3 months ago, she left a bar with 2 guys who she didn't even know, she texted her friend and told her she had put herself in a bad situation, they found her raped and dead. Mothers may say things you don't like because they worry about their daughters and they know there are bad things out there that you might not think they were.

    Have you tried doing things before and quit just because you decide you didn't like it? 

    What made you think you had been raped?

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    • Ace Shorty
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      No, I said there were terrible people WHO DID KILL A GIRL IN ALABAMA, don't you have any comprehension skills?

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  • 1 month ago

    Is it possible that her own mother was this way when she was around the age you are now? In a quiet period take her back to when she was your age and how she felt when treated unkindly by her parents. Do this sincerely with genuine interest - probably best not during an argument. That said, it might perhaps be effective when emotions are high. It is usually better to ask questions than to say things. Try to explain how you feel without any blame or anger - just sadness. Good Luck!

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  • 1 month ago

    She sounds like a narcissist to me and an abusive person (narcissists are abusive, anyway). I rent from one. She's the most manipulating, hateful person i have ever known, she tries to make people feel worthless or blames them for her issues too ......and she's taught me a lot about how not to behave. Great role model for how to behave likeShit. She could write the book !

    You don't live with your Mom, thank goodness. I don't live with my landlady either, and if i have to see her, and she starts her shenanigans, i always smile and tell her "Oh i have to go!" Then i turn around and leave. I'm always pleasant toward her and i don't allow her to impact my day or mood. Why? Just because she's a miserable person doesn't mean i have to be one or that her inner misery needs to impact my life. And it does not. I don't allow it.

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  • 1 month ago

    You should have a good heart to heart talk with your mother.  She may not even realize how she is coming off to you.  Maybe she has an odd way of communicating her feelings or dealing with her feelings.  At least have a hard conversation with her and let her know that she has these reactions when you tell her things that affect you.  Give her an opportunity to explain what she means by what she says. Do that before you decide to stay away from her and cut her out of your life.  It may turn out that your mom needs some help of her own.  This doesn't mean she is a narcissist.  

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  • 1 month ago

    Get in therapy, cut off all contact with her.

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