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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Are you ready to die?

I am 56. I have a failed painting business in upstate NY. This is a place where the median income is 85-90 percent of the national average, but the cost of living is 120-125 percent the national average.

It is a formula for failure. My wife refused to leave this dump for 25 years now.

Today she announced her retirement in July when she turns 65. She doesn't need her job, she will have Medicare. She gets an $800 a month pension from her first job. Starting in July, she could get another $800 per month in pension from her present job. She hates her job. It is tearing our lives apart. She wants to go back and work part time at a job she had for a few years a over a decade ago. So long as we stay here, I will struggle with my failed business. I didn't break $30k in 2019. I've done per diem work for a school district to survive. NOBODY will hire a 56 year old man who has owned his own business since 2007. I have known I can't stay here for a long time. My wife has refused to leave.

Now she has lost the biggest excuse to stay. Maybe we leave.

I lose my insurance when she retires. I have Type 2 diabetes. I used to go to the poor people's clinic when I had no insurance. I have been stockpiling my Metformin for a long time, taking only 3 instead of 4 per day. My A1C is over 10 and I don't care.

Once I run out, it will quickly go to fatal levels. Being one 1 out of 4 might kill me anyway.

I've been fixing up and cleaning out my 92 year old house. A lot of overdue maintenance. 


It will be sell able. I will get out of this mess either by moving or dying. I will be ready to leave, one way or another by July. I am no longer bothered by this. I just stopped caring a long time ago and now I am almost ready.

3 Answers

  • 2 months ago
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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Not personally, no. But you're really taking the long (and painful) route here as not only will it take you a very long time to die of Type II diabetes but you'll lose your sight and some of your limbs in the process. It would really be better to negotiate a move with your wife. One suspects it's not the locale so much as perhaps friends and family that's making her want to stay. Maybe if she realizes how miserable you are she'll relent.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Today Lord, I feel so tired, weary and discouraged. The only way I see out of this is to give up totally.Isaiah 40:31 

    I welcome the Presence of the Holy Spirit. Let Him be my Comforter and Guide. Give me strength. Give me hope. As I cling to You, please draw near.Uplift my Spirit, oh Lord. Give me peace, give me joy. Give me happiness. I need hope. You alone can turn this around, for You are magnificent, and wonderful, and powerful and will never leave me or forsake me.

    Worry ends where faith begins, and I trust that You, Oh God, will lead me to victory.

    Be with me everyday as victory approaches at the Throne of grace and mercy. Suffering, discouragement, doubt and despair will surely leave my mind today, in JESUS’ mighty name, Amen.

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