Should you be nice to someone who’s done you wrong numerous times just because they have cancer? ?
- Serene ELv 72 months ago
You should be nice to everyone. Protect yourself, but be nice.
- LANLv 72 months ago
Why did you post this question about relationships in the cancer section moron? It's up to you how you treat people whether they have an illness or not. If you can't figure this out on your own it only shows what an idiot you are.
- WilmaLv 42 months ago
No absolutely not under any circumstances.
- Hope!Lv 72 months ago
You should be respectful to everyone - always, if they have cancer or not - no matter how they treat you.. Don't let other people's behavior change YOU - Every day, DECIDE who you are going to be - and then BE that person. So, for myself, I have decided that I will be kind to others. The rest of the day - I act kind. That doesn't mean that I always have kind thoughts about others in my head - that's my own struggle - but what it does mean is that if others are nasty, (what is that to me?) I will be who I decide to be. That doesn't mean I allow myself to be a doormat though..
So, some practical examples. I came up with an idea recently, and a person I thought was my friend, who didn't like the idea because it would mean change for him, not only was rude, but very unkind. I did not retaliate - I was pleasant for the rest of the conversation, and pleasant each time I saw him. I didn't avoid him, but I also did not go out of my way to see him either. When I had to see him, on other matters, I was pleasant. Period. That's showing a person respect. Inside, I was angry (anger is how we react to deep hurt), but I had decided that the person I was going to be is kind and forgiving. At the end of the day, it's your actions that matter - and acting well let's you look in the mirror and like what you see.. I could have been mean, I could have lashed out in anger, or avoided him completely and refused to talk to him, but then at the end of the day, I would realize that I had dropped down to his level, that I was mean and petty, and was the kind of person who always had to 'get back' at others.. and that is not someone I would want to be.
In your case, the person has cancer - deciding to forgive and forget, to show mercy and empathy will never be wrong - in fact when they see your kindness they will (perhaps?) realize how unkind they have been - and you will have taught them something about how to treat others.
Lastly, I want to say this - forgiving someone is never for them - it's for you! To carry around hurt and anger doesn't hurt the other person at all! :-) But it does hurt you.. it's like living in a gorgeous house, where a dog has crapped under the carpet - you look at all the nice stuff around you, but you can't enjoy it because of the smell. :-) To forgive someone is to realize that we ALL make mistakes, are all unkind at times, that maybe there is a reason they hurt you (never been shown kindness, so don't know how to give it), and then to say, in your heart, - "I release you from this. You don't owe me anything." (and when they don't owe you anything, then you stop looking for some sort of payment - an apology, a way to get back at them etc..) and then change your focus to something positive, like what a mature person you are to forgive them. :-)
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- Anonymous2 months ago
It doesn't cost you anything to be pleasant. It probably won't be long becfore the person dies. Then you can go back to your old self.