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Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 month ago

The smallest things set off the worst reactions?

I'm not suicidal. Sometimes I go through depressive episodes where I have suicidal thoughts but most of the time it's more why I can't kill myself, and that my family loves me so I can't do that to them. Mostly it's just wanting to run away. But a few minutes ago, I was sitting in the living room minding my own business, when my mom came in, I don't know why I think she was looking for something. But so she told me what had just happened, my 4 yr old sister and her were in the bathroom, and for a second mom had looked away. During that time my little sister had sad down on the toilet and peed, but she forgot to lift up the lid (bc she's 4), and peed everywhere. She came in and told me that story, and it started out as just irritation, second hand embarrassment, I don't know, something mild, but within seconds, instead of thinking about all the reasons I can't kill myself, all I could think about was how much of a good idea it was, and how stupid of me it is to think its a good idea to kill myself over this. I know it's stupid, this is THE most irrational reaction I've ever had, but I can't help it. I'm feeling better now because I've ranted about it, but I'm scared it's going to happen again, maybe even worse. I don't want to die over something so.....irrelevant. I just now realise there's nothing anyone here can do but I'm already going insane so why not? I already know WHY I reacted like that no one can tell me the answer. No one can stop me anyway.

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  • 1 month ago

    What your problem is exactly and what kind of treatment you might need we have no way of knowing, but it's pretty clear that you should learn some good distress tolerance skills. 

    Tell with your mother about what's bothering you, or a counselor at school.

    DBT is a therapy that helps people who have suicidal tendencies. It recommends coping methods for times when you're upset. The article tells you -

    https://www.sunrisertc.com/distress-tolerance-skil...

    One of things they mention is slow breathing and this is amazing. 

    Two psychiatrists, Brown and Gerbarg, say a 10 or 20 min slow breathing exercise - 5 breaths a min - is good and 20 min twice a day is a therapy for anxiety. The exercise is inhale and exhale gently, 6 seconds each, not pausing between breaths.

     

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