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How do you open up or talk about death?

Growing up my family never spoke about death, and it was kind of swept under the rug especially when my granddad died and no one spoke of him anymore.

recently though we have experieced quite a few losses in the family, and I have no clue how to respond when people speak to me about those that have passed?

How do you respond to or discuss or open up to people about death?

Thanks in advance

6 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Different people handle death and grief differently. Some want to talk about the deceased as if they're still living, others need to never hear his/her name again. I'm the latter but my parents are the former and when the fourth member of my family or origin died a few years ago we had to face the fact that we didn't need the same things and were sort of not that helpful to each other. So I go to visit a house that's a photographic shrine to the sibling I lost and, not gonna lie, it's hard. There's no evidence in my home that he ever lived, because that's my coping mechanism. We'll never see eye to eye on this and you may never be of the same mind as some of your other family members. I think we can all just agree that premature death is pretty sucky and that it affects the survivors for life...whether they talk about it incessantly or just try to put it out of their minds. I'm sorry for your losses.

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  • dman63
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Growing up, it was never discussed much in our house.  To my perception, it was treated as something that happened to everyone, and you dealt with it in your own way and moved on with life.  I let people discuss the death of a loved one if they want to, but I never press them if they would rather not.  

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Thank them for asking.   Be honest about how you feel about it.

    They may just want to be there but have no words. Accept that 

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  • 1 month ago

    You say what you think or what you feel about the person who has died. That you liked them and maybe a story about them if you knew them well. Just because someone has died doesn't mean they are totally forgotten. While they are in people's memories they are still around aren't they.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This is a really good question, but it doesn't have a simple answer.  There are so many factors involved.  The biggest is whether YOU want to talk about it.  For example, when a parent loses a child, it's common for then to really enjoy hearing the child's friends tell memories of the child.  Other parents can't even bear it. 

    Where you're concerned, it also depends on who is doing the asking.  I'd think you'd much rather talk about it with a best friend than a nosy meddling uncle who drives you nuts. 

    Here's what you want to remember.  There is no right or wrong way for you to handle this, or even to grieve.  Society keeps trying to come up with "rules", but this is silly.  We're all different, and then, some deaths will hit much closer to home than others.  Just respond with how you feel in the moment and if you don't want to discuss it, give a quick "non response" and change the subject.

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  • 1 month ago

    It's actually healthy to talk about someone we are missing who has died. There's nothing wrong with it. You can say you miss them or say something you remember about them, or anything at all!

    I'm sorry for your losses... we usually do miss those who have passed away.

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