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Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 2 months ago

I really need advice..?

So i am a 20 year old woman, got married last year and live with my husband and my in laws. I live 4 hours away from my family and basically have nobody in the town that I live. I feel really lonely and husband doesnt understand and I dont expect him to because he has everyone here with him. I cant stop crying because I can feel my own family distancing themselves away from me.. i very rarely would get a call or text from them. I just feel so alone and sad. A part of me so desperately wants me to pack and leave to go back but then I don’t want to leave my husband. I dont know how to write this properly because my minds been so blank recently, i can’t think properly, i constantly feel tired I don’t know whats wrong with me and i’m scared when I reach out for help i’ll be seen as someone thats lying or lazy. Right now all I want is my family. 

8 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    I read your question with a lot of interest.

    Let me say that living with in-laws (no matter how good they are) is very hard, indeed.  Because the fact is that you have no home of your own and this is very important when it comes to bonding with your husband.

    And so it's no wonder that you miss your own family.

    How about arranging to stay the weekend with them?  Your husband come come with you or you could go alone.  Four hours away is quite a distance and so spending some time with them on a weekend overnight would be reasonable.

    Maybe someone in your family has a birthday or anniversary coming up soon that you would like to visit them for.

    Also, look into Facetime.  It's an app that you can get for an I-Pad.

    • Alina1 month agoReport

      Thank you to everyone who answered and I agree with you, my in laws are lovely but it’s not the same. I have tried speaking to my husband about this but he takes it the wrong way, i just feel really stuck and I cant stay anything to him without him thinking badly. Again thank you 

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  • Not at all in my opinion

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  • 1 month ago

    You should let your husband know how miserable you feel.

    It can be hard to adjust to living with your in-laws. I wouldn't

    want to do it.

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  • Gert
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I think it's very normal to miss your family. I couldn't stand that. Too, you married very young. Maybe you weren't ready to be away from your family. Maybe your family is hurting too.

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  • k w
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    can't you do a face to face on the net with them...that should help, maybe take bus or drive there for the weekend...and chill a bit prepare to stay at a motel/hotel....

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  • 2 months ago

    maybe you should go back home

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you should go back home and if youre lucky maybe he'll follow you

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  • 2 months ago

    So what do you do with your time?

    Do you study or work? Could you make friends there?

    Do you have any interests or hobies that would enable you to make friends locally?

    When did you last visit your family? Even at that distance, every 6 months would be reasonable. Have any of them visited tou?

    Bo you call and text them regularly? Keep up on social media? Communication goes both ways.

    Talk to your husband.

    You were very young to get married but having done so, you need to make an effort to make the relationship work.perhaps you could both find jobs closer to your parents and move?

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