Is it wrong to not inviting married couple to wedding?
I have a younger brother who is getting married soon. I am one of three siblings; there are two sisters and our younger brother. We have these family friends (as in our parents are friends with their parents and we children are with their children) with whom we are somewhat close, kind of like an intermediate friendship. They are all married and our brother is the last one of the sex marry. They all thereby obviously have spouses. My brother has decided to not invite any of their spouses, just the parents and children. The reason for this is because at their weddings, he was not given the option of a plus 1. He was just sent on the same card as my parents because he still lives at home because he believes that living with someone before marriage is a sin.
I keep telling him that it is wrong to no invite a married couple but he is very headstrong and keeps going on about fairness, reciprocity etc... He points out to my sister and me that he didn’t try to interfere with our weddings and fair enough, he didn’t. But we just think that he should invite them all. His fiancé has two couples on her side who did the same thing to her and she is also not inviting them.
I just want to point out that my brother is a very nice person, has a generous heart and is a true Christian, not someone who just cherry picks to suit their agenda. Just on this I think that he is totally wrong and nobody can through to him. What should I do? What can I do? Any help at all would be much appreciated.
- Anonymous1 month ago
It's their wedding and they have the right to choose who gets invited to THEIR wedding and who doesn't. If they say no married couples than that's THEIR choice and nobody has the right to throw a fit because of it.
Don't like it? tough ****, because again you people have ZERO say in this matter
- OcimomLv 71 month ago
Its rude and not something he should do. Let him know that if he doesn't include the spouse, then none of them may show up at the wedding. I certainly would not go to a wedding w/o my spouse!
BTW IF he really is a true Christian, he would be forgiving. He is showing his true colors.
- Anonymous1 month ago
Looks like there's going to be a pau fa. I don't think there's anything you can do about it. Your brother seems adimant about it...I doubt you'll be able to change his mind.
- GBLv 51 month ago
His fiancee is doing the same thing, so at least she's happy about it. It's their wedding, and it's down to them what to do. although it is rude, and married couples are social units. You say he is a true Christian - but he seems to have missed the bit about forgiveness.
I think you should talk to your parents and maybe your sisters about your concerns, or email them, not to get the couple to change their plans,
but to create a united front.
I suggest saying (if anyone comments.)
,'We told him we don't agree with not inviting spouses, but that's how they want to do it. If you have anything to say, then tell him.'
If I was one of the family friends, I would decline it, and not let my children go, unless they were of an age to be responsible.
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- 1 month ago
I agree with you, spouses should be invited to the wedding, regardless, otherwise if you don't invite the spouse, you might as well not invite the couples at all. Unfortunately it is your brother's wedding and therefore he can only make the decisions.
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
Your brother is a petty little snark for sure. But sadly weddings are the time when some small people will choose to try to browbeat others. Meanwhile the uninvited spouses probably couldn't be happier (as few people actually enjoy going to weddings).
- Common SenseLv 71 month ago
Your brother has some personality problems, probably stemming from an abandonment issue or a reason why he holds a grudge.
Until he realizes that a "Plus One" invitation is not comparible to inviting a married couple, he will continue to be wrong, all day long wrong. He lived with mommy and daddy when the household was invited to thoseother weddings.
Let him make a fool of himself and please do let him know that his snobby, vengeful and petty actions will insult husbands and wives to the point that he can expect those who receive such an invitation will most likely boycott his wedding. Make sure none of his targeted misfit deplorables are not invited to the bridal shower and that he returns any gifts received by those who he is unable to forgive, like a good Christian would do.
Your brother and his bride are having an immature hiss fit. How sad.
Although your brother may be a Christian, that is irrelevant in the scope of manners vs a personality flaw.
- KellyLv 71 month ago
They're both totally wrong here.
A married couple is not a plus 1 type of situation. A married couple is a social unit and consider one.. you can't invite one without the other. Some also consider a couple living together, engaged or otherwise long term a social unit as well.
Myself, I would not attend a wedding where my husband wasn't welcome with me and he also would not attend one where I wasn't. Based on scheduling though we have both attended weddings without the other. We have weddings 3 weekends in row on my side of the family (1 from my mom's side and 2 from my dad's) coming up in the fall and I doubt he'll make all of them due to his work.
This is a faux pas and well rude.
Your brother IS cherry picking, he's basically doing a tit for tat system because he wasn't allowed a plus 1.
Discretely mail your brother and his fiancee an etiquette book or details on inviting married couples.
- sunshine_melLv 71 month ago
Married couples have to be invited together. They are a social unit.
He is being utterly unreasonable.
- Anonymous1 month ago
Butt out, troll.