am i wrong for refusing to let a convicted rapist in my home?
i have a aunt who married a man that she has been with for about 5 years. One day me and my sister were searching through the sex registered list and he appeared on the list! he was there for rape tier 4 and served 7 years in prison. I asked my mother about this and she admitted that yes he did serve time and that she knew. fast forward to a family gathering i hosted, i made it clear that my aunt was not to bring her husband if she wanted to attend. That i did not feel safe nor felt safe for the children. She got upset and said he did his time and that was in the past and that it was not his fault ect. with all of these excuses. Now it got back to her husband and when i see my aunt he does not speak to me. i at least try to say hello but he refuses to speak to me which is fine but im wondering was i wrong? How should i handle future gatherings?
- 1 month agoFavorite Answer
I am one who believes in second chances, but i also not believe in foolishness. You are doing what every mother would, trying to keep them save. there is a difference between doing time for a crime and actually repenting and take a new leave. trust must never be gifted or dashed, it must be earned. STAY STRONG
- 1 month ago
Didnt even read the long version. Yes absolutely no convicted rapists allowed. Common sense has left out society.
- zipperLv 61 month ago
NO! But how will you get home if you don't let yourself in? Man your weird!
- hartLv 61 month ago
stay away it is a time bomb
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- 1 month ago
It's ironic how people who are obviously sinners... dare to judge other people for their sins...for instance, they love judging people who have murdered or raped... but what about people who abort kids? what about people who have premarital sex? what about people who say bad words while driving???? are those sins "ok" because most people have done them? any sin is bad regardless if it's rape or premarital sex ... now, we should hate the sin not the sinner..
- Ace ShortyLv 71 month ago
Yes if you are going to try talk to him now. It may be that no on really knows what went on before when he was accused of and convicted for rape except him and the female.
- Anonymous1 month ago
There are a lot of sex offenders in my family so take it from me...don't ever let him come around.
- DavidLv 61 month ago
Two thoughts: Do you not trust your aunt? She is not going to expose you, or the children, or anybody else you care about, to danger.
2nd Thought: Even if this man was inclined to rape again (and that by itself is highly unlikely), do you really think that's going to happen at a family gathering?
He's done his time, and he's not hiding anything. You are essentially punishing him AGAIN for a mistake that he made long ago. His refusing to speak to you is perfectly understandable. He knows his past has "issues", but he's trying to live in the present. He can't do that with idiots like you forcing him to live in the past.
Too late now, but a better approach would have been to approach him alone to ask him about the issue, how he got in trouble. He should be willing to talk about it, in a polite manner. But now he's on the defensive. You might not ever get a straight answer out of him.
How do you handle future gatherings? Simple. He's welcome to attend...with your aunt. Trust him or not, you SHOULD trust your aunt.
- FoofaLv 71 month ago
If you're an adult living apart from your family you can certainly not allow this man into your home. But you don't get to control the homes of everyone else in your family. You're not wrong to want to avoid this man. Handle future gatherings by either not going if he's to be there or by just making sure you never find yourself alone with him.
- PatriciaLv 71 month ago
I don't know if you're wrong or not. That's up to you to decide.
And if he was convicted of rape, how is that not his fault? Was he falsely accused? Doesn't seem that way if he's on the sex offender's list.
- Anonymous1 month ago
Oh look. It's you again. What a surprise.