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Why do people have to pass comment that I'm a quiet person?

I get it everywhere I go - like I've got a disease or something. If I go to a bible class, I get, "I can't wait for that mouth of yours to open up", or when a neighbour visited my mother and I was there at the same time, the neighbour later told my mother, "She's such a nice girl, but so quiet". The next one was I saw my primary school teacher for the first time in about 30 years and she said, "I remember you back then. You were timid".

These comments suck.

13 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I get that, too. I'm an introvert (and ISTJ).

    They say that because they have the classic extravert's disease, causing "verbal diarrhea": they can't shut up and have to say whatever they're thinking, no matter how stupid it makes them seem. 

    Have sympathy for them: extraverts lack the self-control that we introverts have, and they don't have the skills it takes to just shut up.

    Come up with a snappy comeback: "I'm good at watching what I say", or "I think before I speak".   (They aren't.)

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  • 1 month ago

    Because people who are SO quiet are placing an unfair burden on other people to keep the conversation going. Nobody needs you to be leaping about capping jokes and grinning manically, but you could try smiling if someone says something amusing, nodding if you agree, maybe even saying 'That's true!' from time to time.

    This way even though you're not actually taking part in the conversation, you'll SEEM as if you are, and people will stop accusing you of being too quiet.

    • polly
      Lv 7
      3 weeks agoReport

      I drive past a weigh station every day on my way to work, but I'm not aware of or had any experience with a halfway station 

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  • 1 month ago

    Just ask them why are they so loud

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  • polly
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Because people are judgmental & opinionated & they'll pass judgement on you & everyone else.

    You're better off being labelled as quiet instead of being told that you're an obnoxious loudmouth

    • bluebellbkk
      Lv 7
      3 weeks agoReport

      There is a halfway station, you know.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe cause they want to talk to you but you dont talk back

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  • 1 month ago

    people are terrified by quiet people--just like they are with cats...they know you are thinking, and thinking scares the piss out of them.  

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  • Raven
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    I am quiet myself so I always let other quiet folk stay to themselves if they wish because I understand how bothersome some extroverts can be about this. Plus, you can't fully trust anyone, especially at work so the smart thing is to continue being quiet despite the fact that others won't like it. Most people who complain about you being quiet want you to open up so they can use something against you.

    Remember that you don't have to let them affect your day at work. You go in, get paid, and go home. I wish most people would function this way.

    • ...Show all comments
    • bluebellbkk
      Lv 7
      3 weeks agoReport

      With you on this, Jerry. It's not a question of loud extros versus quiet intros: it's a matter of trying to get some balance in a conversation.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Tell these people "I'll talk when I have something relevant to add to the conversation.  Is there anything wrong with that?" Repeat as necessary.

    • Jerry
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Say that to me and I'll tell you exactly what is wrong with it. And while you won't like hearing it, giving it some thoughtful consideration might help you improve your social skills and thus facilitate a happier life. 

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  • 1 month ago

    They just expressing their frustration that you don't initiate or add to a conversation, and in many cases wish you would change because they do want you to share more about yourself than you do voluntarily.  And people don't always necessarily want to get quiet people to share themselves, so what you find cringeworthy is actually a compliment to who you are a person. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Your quiet nature is noticed by others, and like many of life, some people feel the need to verbally share their observations of you. Best you can do is choose to put your focus elsewhere, given you cannot control how others respond to you.

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