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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 1 month ago

If an alcoholic constantly yells at her son due to his horrible grades in school, and he grows up yelling at her, is it her fault?

Let’s say his father walked out on her before her son was born. So for his entire adult life, she worked single-handedly to provide a roof over his head. But due to stress from her job and no male companionship to help raise her son (as well as lack of “needs,” if you know what I mean), she drank. Please don’t get it twisted, because she was NOT the cliché drunk on TV and movies who stayed out all night in bars and neglected her son. On the contrary, she was not only 100% in his life, but spoiled him rotten (as he’s her only child, and she made a great living).  But she habitually bought bottles of wine on the way home, causing her son’s incompetence in school to easily trigger her temper. This was especially evident when she helped him with his math homework, as she would yell when we couldn’t solve the problem. In addition, she generally yelled at him at the top of her lungs when he brought home a bad report card, to the point where the neighbors could hear, “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” This would cause him to break down in tears, to the point where he feared coming home to yelling whenever he got bad grades, the same way kids feared getting “the belt” — words hurt just as much as hitting.  Although, according to the mother and son’s family, he’s a disrespectful spoiled brat, because she only tells them HIS faults: she yells at him, but never told them about her intoxication and yelling at him. Is it fair that he’s viewed as worse than Hitler, so to speak?

Update:

Typo: I meant that his faults are... “HE yells at HER”

6 Answers

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    2 weeks ago

    According to the mother and her son’s family, they view him as being worse than Hitler because he IS a disrespectful,  spoiled brat and he yells at his mother. It's not because his mother drinks wine.  He's trying to blame his behavior on his mother, whom  he admits has raised him and cared for him and financially supported him and been there 100% for him all his life.

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  • 1 month ago

    Children learn by example, do as I do, not as I say. Blame less, get counseling more.

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  • 1 month ago

    Honestly, this is one of those situations where the kid clearly needs to get away from and go no contact with that entire family. It seems impossible to me how anything would be this child's fault. She couldn't keep a man, and it's obvious why, and because of her incompetence as a woman he grew up without a father. Then she continues on being incompetent as a mother and also a human being, lying, cheating, abusing, drinking, etc. Who cares if she "spoiled" him. A Playstation can't teach you how to change a tire, or undo decades of neglect and abuse. This "hypothetical" woman sounds like a real piece of *ahem* if you ask me. She obviously needs therapy but is clearly too weak to muster up the courage to admit she's got serious emotional and mental issues and just go find a professional to deal with her. The boy definitely needs therapy as well, through no fault of his own of course. What an awful family to be born into. Poor kid. Sheesh.

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  • edward
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Her being alcoholic has nothing to do with it. It’s unrelated to her yelling, any parent that i know would do the same thing with hitting. Make sure he never dare do the same thing again

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  • 1 month ago

    Uh, no, that's not fair, but I feel like you already know that.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Work on your creative writing ideas, this one is very formulistic.

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