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Does playing hard to get actually work?

I used to talk very personal with the guy I like

and he would warn men not too be personal as he could get fired for having a personal relationship with me

today and a week ago - I talked to him in a very impersonal tone

as if we were strangers

I decided I will be impersonal at work and I will try to find him online if I want to have a connection with him beyond work politics

5 Answers

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  • Linda
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    It does only if the guy you are using it on is the right guy to fall for you and if he is attracted to you on some level. Playing hard to get is about looking your best, always being busy, and not accepting last second dates. It's about self respect and believing you are something fantastic and any guy would be lucky to spend time with you and also want to spend money on you. Talking to him in an impersonal tone if he asked you a question first is fine. But if you started the conversation, you are still taking the lead instead of the other way around. Finding him online is another sign of chasing someone. If he is interested, he'll find you. To understand what playing hard to get really is, read "The Rules." It will help you find Mr. Right.

    Source(s): The Rules work
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    • Linda
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      It's not about playing hard to get so much but more of viewing yourself highly and having self respect. Guys will say that but when it comes down to it,they like the chase.

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  • Piero
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Playing hard to get works to get men to leave you alone. If you do not indicate that you are as interested in me, as I am in you, I'm going to move on. Life's too short for little kid's games.

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  • 1 month ago

    In answer to your direct question, playing "hard to get" is a bad idea.

    Many women are annoyed by men who don't take "no" for an answer. Feminists are getting the message out, and many men are taking the first refusal as an answer.

    For every woman who plays "hard to get" with a guy she likes there may be a dozen women who are annoyed by a man whom she doesn't like making persistent attempts to date her. The man might genuinely not know whether the woman is "playing hard to get" or she really isn't interested in him.

    In your particular situation this is a guy at your workplace. So the rules are even more strict. Some workplaces totally forbid dating among employees. But even if they don't, workplaces are subject to sexual harassment law.

    In my country "unwanted invitations to go out on dates;" is considered to be an examples of "sexually harassing behaviour" in the legal definition of sexual harassment. This means that if a man asks a female co-worker out and she isn't interested in him then he has sexually harassed her. 

    It sounds as though in your case there is a rule against dating co-workers. He isn't going to risk being fired for dating you. After all, it might not even work out.

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Not the way you want it to.

    Relationships work only when we are open, honest, and present ourselves as we truly are. And the other person either wants who we are, or they don't, and there is nothing we can do to change that. Furthermore, the initial "chemistry" never lasts, and when it dies out THAT is when we discover if we actually LIKE the person or not .. so people can and often DO change their feelings about someone else. Happens all the time. You cannot reclaim someone who has lost interest.

    Playing hard to get is being dishonest. It is not showing your true intention.

    You are better than that.

    More than that, there are two basic reactions a guy can have to you playing hard to get:

    (1) the players see this as a challenge, work harder to get sex, and then dump you. once they have gotten the sex. You end up feeling used and played and disrespected ... because you were, and because that is what you invited.

    (2) the GOOD guys, see your coolness as a rejection.  They assume you are a genuine and good person and so your impersonal tone is a message to "go away".  Since they are human and they don't like rejection any more than YOU do, that is exactly what they will do. They will go away.

    As for co-workers, anyone with a lick of sense in their head does NOT seek to establish a relationship with a co-worker.  Even if you don't get in trouble with management, most relationships end and often end badly .. and then you have to face this person everyday and be polite and not break into tears of disrupt the office routine in any way.  Very very difficult and painful situation to be in.

    Work is NOT a dating site.  That isn't what you are being paid to do there.

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  • 1 month ago

    It only works to a certain extent if you play for too long they will loose intrest, but some guys also like it when the girl is forward and she knows what she wants, it depends on the guy and what vibe he is giving out:)

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