Boyfriend wanting to go on trip without me?
I am in a relationship with a guy who is going on a trip to Mexico. He didn't initially invite me and only did when I asked why he never even mentioned it and that I felt he was wrong for planning the trip without me. He then "invited" , only to say closer to trip that he didn't want me to go. He said he wants to go alone and doesn't want to have problems with me there. He said the trip is happening whether I like it or not and that I can just deal with it. He named numerous excuses, but none make sense to me when it comes down to it. He's done this before in past relationships where he doesn't take the person has in a relationship with. He did it in his marriage. His brother and him travel every year there by themselves. I don't know what to make of this, but something isn't adding up. The destination place is Nexpa in Mexico. It doesn't feel right to me ..
- TealLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
You aren't his wife, he doesn't need your approval to plan a trip with his brother and he was never obligated to invite you. To be fair though, he handled it badly. He should not have retracted his invite at the last minute. He told you what you wanted to hear to shut you up and end the argument. You have proof at least that he will lie to you to get what he wants. Ultimately, if you don't trust him to travel alone, then cut to the chase and break up now. This won't get better.
- RickyLv 62 months ago
Well if your a white girls or a black girl or someone who doesn't have any ancestry there it doesn't make sense taking you there since it's so different down in Mexico. He probably thinks your going to hate it or maybe your not going to like it. That's one of the biggest reason I would not take a girl their. Especially if you don't know the Spanish language. Your going to feel like an alien who came from a different planet. Also another reason is on how dangerous it can be down there so he doesn't want to risk it. Theres so many reason or who know he might have kids and a wife down there. Man in Mexico have a huge abundance in Mexico. Women in Mexico are very aggressive when it comes to finding a partner in Mexico. They are not afraid to show their intentions to men especially if they come from a different country.
- TjLv 72 months ago
You know his history. Wake up, find a new guy.
- HelenLv 72 months ago
What doesn't seem right is how you've highjacked his trip and essentially forced him to invite you. You say he does this "every year" so why complain now? This is the person you've chosen to be in a relationship with. Accept his traditions and his freedom and trust him, or find someone better suited to you.
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- 2 months ago
Normally I'm always down for solo trips and my partner and I don't mind doing our own thing but sounds like red flags. If he was a family trip, solo, or just the boys that's fine but why not tell you before he even booked it....and say hey I'm planning this trip and we can do our own trip before/after.
Sounds really sketchy he just tells you when he has to then when you ask questions he just invites you but then cancels??? Why not be honest and say hey this trip is just for me....he had plenty of time. Something doesn't add up. Also the multiple excuses. He should not have excuses just a fact.
I travel all the time alone and so does my boyfriend for a few months but we also travel together and no matter what we discuss before we even look we talk about trips whether together or solo. Sounds like your guy isn't traveling for fun. He's either cheating or doing some criminal work.
- Dr. StephanieLv 72 months ago
On the surface, it would seem normal enough. I have often taken little trips with girlfriends , despite being long married. No problem. However, there is a "little red flag" here: he doesn't want to have problems " with you, there? What's that all about ! What sort of problems does he think he'd have? Have you had problems otherwise? Perhaps this needs further examining and attention to make sure your relationship is a healthy one? But since he has had a long tradition of going places either alone or with his brother, I'd otherwise let this be. If you wish, plan a trip with your girlfriends at the same time, or at least, plan activities at home, so you won't be sitting alone and brooding about him. Good wishes,
- MamawidsomLv 72 months ago
You've chosen to date a man who likes some space. He may just be a guy who enjoys a guys' trip. He may feel smothered or that he can't be himself around you or other girlfriends/wives. He may be involved in something that is illegal or dangerous. You are a girlfriend, and he is not obligated to take you, invite you, include you, or get your permission to do things.
The disconnect here is that you want a guy who is going to go on vacation with you. At some level, you don't trust him. At some level you are jealous. That's understandable. The problem is that you think you can and should be able to fix him instead of accepting that you need to find a different boyfriend.
If you don't trust him, it is time to say good-bye. If you do trust him, then wish him well and plan your own holiday or adventure without him. If you can't be happy without him, you should get some counseling. It's that simple.
- WhateverLv 72 months ago
Grow up and get over it. Just because he's in a relationship doesn't mean he can't take solo trips or trips with his brother just to get away and relax. There's nothing wrong with getting away from daily life and/or a partner for a few days.
Stop being so damn paranoid and just tell him to go and have a good time.
- Anonymous2 months ago
He's hoping to get lucky with someone else.
- SlumlordLv 72 months ago
With his brother being there and with this being something they do every year, it sounds like its just a guy thing - a chance to get away from stuff and sometimes its good to get away from your gf as well (and maybe you'll find it equally nice to be away from him for a bit).
The obvious question is, will he cheat on you while there? Its possible but its also possible that he has no intention of this. I think you are going to have to trust him and assume its just "a guy thing" and let him go. Plan your own trip, if you want, and ask a friend or two to join you on that; but obviously not to the same place at the same time.