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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

How can I be assertive? ?

I am a receptionist at a university, 27 years old and I’m a people pleaser. One of my co workers who has always been very supportive and friendly, has recently taken on the role of my boss. As soon as she became my boss, she turned into a *****. Example 1: Students and staff often ask for me on the phone because they trust me. If she hears about it, she questions me like I’ve done something wrong or inappropriate (as a receptionist, I think it’s a good thing people want to speak to me?!) example 2: I was fine when I went to work this morning but throughout the day I started getting sick and sneezing. Every time I sneezed, I would do it into my jacket and would spray disinfectant. She saw this and said “didn’t your mother tell you to stay home” - I may not be an old lady like her but I still don’t need my mother’s permission. There are other examples but this will be too long, so how can I be assertive? I usually just smile awkwardly because I don’t know what to say 

7 Answers

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would talk to your manager about it

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    She sounds like a power hungry bi.ch.

    BUT..

    You should NOT come to work when sick, it’s rude and you’ll spread germs and make the whole office sick.

    You need to go home and not come to work if sick.

    You do know that germs can spread right?

    She has every right as your boss to know what’s going on, tell her who called and be polite and professional, never ever get upset or lose your cool, be calm, always.

    She’s your boss at work not your friend.

    If you are naturally better with people she may be jealous of you and yes, may be overly critical.

    If you really cannot work with her it may be time to find a new job.

    Any genuine bullying needs to be documented by you, day, date, time, witnesses and what happened.

    Bullying is hard to prove.  It’s her word against yours..

    But..

    You calling her an old lady is rude and immature.

    Please don’t act like a 14 year old girl and say that, be an adult.

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  • Laurie
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you started getting sick, you SHOULD have gone home. It is rude and irresponsible to expose others to your illness, especially if you are coughing or sneezing.

    Yoir boss has a right to know what business matters you are discussing — and you should be discussing ONLY business while you are at work. So, just tell her, “Barb called to ask whether we received the fax.” “Steve in receiving wants us to watch for a package from the office supply company.”

    Honestly... YOU sound like the one with the problem — an authority/immaturity problem.

    Good luck.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Whenever she tells you something just say OK boss.  If you need to speak to her address her as boss.  Boss, boss,  boss, boss boss, she'll get the message soon enough.

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  • 1 month ago

    Co-workers who assume supervisory roles change your relationship with them. Generally what you identify as petty meanness is just your boss being assertive in her responsibility over you at work. Yes, some can flex their boss muscles too much, but employees can also be overly sensitive. And in the examples presented it sounds like you are making a big deal out of nothing.

    When your boss challenges you, don't take it personally and reversed the commentary upon them. Explain the situation in detail and ask them how they would handle it if they were in your shoes. This does two things. It clarifies a situation that they likely don't fully understand and pays them respect for their supervisory duties to better support you. Chances are they will correct you a lot less than they will validate you. For instance in example 2, you could explain how you felt well before you came to work and aren't independently wealthy so know you need to come to work to get paid, then go into detail how you make an effort to not spread germs, And when you practice this type of assertion, it typically will also result in less criticism in the future no matter what the subject is.

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  • 1 month ago

    Doing a new Job it takes a learning curve so give her pace otherwise her love will turn to hate if you bug her for a date....support her is what I would do.... and be a friend she can talk too and maybe she maybe become the one you marry.....

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