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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Food & DrinkBeer, Wine & Spirits · 2 months ago

Hard to quit drinking when friends are drinkers?

So I've been thinking long and hard about actually quitting drinking. I'm unproductive, sad, bored with everything, diet is horrible, goals are always pushed to the side..

I'm 24, and I have at least 3 beers every night, but usually around 4-5. And they typical finish a 15 pack of beer on friday and saturday. I spend about 40$ a week on liquor.

So I've decided to drop it. I've quit for a week before and it was extremely difficult. I was my best friends more than usual and I got laughed out of it pretty quick. I instantly went from "never drinking again" to beers every night in a single day.

I dont know how to manage it. They like going to pubs or restaurants and crush a few pints, and without that we literally dont do anything else. 

Should I just order fake beers? Or just get a pop? It's not like I have kids and can just pull the "oh I'm on dad duty tonight".. I'm just a young dude who wants to advance my career and be fully present. I'm tired of waking up feeling like garbage, I'm tired of getting all my chores done as fast as possible so I can get drinking sooner. Its only ever gotten worse. I want a good excuse that will persuade my own self and the others around me that this is a step in the right direction..

Thoughts?

Thank you.

7 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    but should do....

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  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Hard to quit drinking when friends are drinkers?

    That depends on your friends and on you. 

    Are your friends supportive or do they undermine you? 

    Do you feel uncomfortable about being out of step with your friends? 

    I know that whether it's booze or tobacco or drugs or whatever, it can be a lot harder to quit if the people around you are engaging in the behavior. And you definitely need to spend your time doing stuff other than hanging around bars with bar flies. 

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  • Laurie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    AA has a saying. “New faces, new places...” it is very hard to change your habits if you keep doing the same things you’ve always done, going the same places you’ve always gone, and hanging out with the same people. 

    Even if you’re not an alcoholic, you can benefit from this wisdom. You may need to change other habits to change your drinking habit. (Getting in better physical shape is one idea. Instead of going to the bar, go to the gym.)

    Changing your drinking habits will also reveal something else to you: who is, and is not, really a friend.

    People who are care about YOU, who are worthy to be your friends, will support your decision; false friends will not. That is how you know that some people do not really value you as a friend... to them, you are nothing more than a “drinking buddy”.

    That is, by drinking with them, you make them feel better about their OWN questionable behavior. It is all about THEM. If you stop drinking with them, they will first pressure you to continue drinking with them and, if you consistently refuse, they will find somebody who WILL drink with them... and dump you. (When they pressure you, ask them, “Why do you care whether or not *I* drink?”)

    PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU WILL NOT QUESTION YOU... IF THEY RESPECT YOU, THEY WILL RESPECT YOUR DECISION.

    But... if you MUST provide an excuse, just say, “Doctor’s orders.”

    If they press you for details, “i don’t want to get into it.”

    There is little to be gained in life by drinking, and everything to lose.

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  • 2 months ago

    Forget about persuading the others. They'll have to make up their own minds about what they want to do. And if they laugh at you for not drinking, maybe it's time to find friends who don't do that. The thing is, people who are drinking often feel uncomfortable with someone who isn't drinking. That is their problem. Don't make it yours.

    If it's that hard to avoid drinking when you go to the pub with your friends, then don't go to the pub with your friends. If you want to see these friends, then propose some other activity, maybe at some other time of day, that doesn't involve drinking. If your friends can't seem to get around to doing something else with you, then I'd say the drinking is more important to them than you are.

    I don't get the impression from what you say that you really have an alcohol problem. You're a young guy who has been doing what all the other young guys do but now that doesn't look so good any more. Maybe you're growing up and your friends aren't. That happens as everyone gets older. Some people in their 50s are still doing what they did in their twenties. Some have found other things to do.

    I suggest finding something else to do with the time and money you now spend on booze. Join a gym. Take a night class or two, maybe to help advance your career or learn how to do something (great place to meet women, too; every night class I ever took had way more women than men in it, except the one on 'how to build a house', and the ones on various crafts had nothing but women), join a model railroad club, find a hobby of some kind. If your time and money are already committed to something else, they won't be available for drinking.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    They aren't friends. Your liver, pancreas, brain, wallet will be thankful when ditching them.

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  • Rick B
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Sounds like it is time to make new friends. Maybe find some grownup friends.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Be the only sober one and fùck all your hot, drunk, female friends

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