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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Is getting engaged normally a surprise?

I wonder if couples discuss it up front during the relationship or it's a complete and utter surprise.  I would think one would know they are getting engaged and even go so far as to pick a date.  Each should want to know the others intentions if and unless sex gets in the way which is more likely the case.

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    My daughter and many of her friends all knew they were getting married. You have got to talk about money, finances, children, bills, careers, extended family, where you want to love, would you move. And a host of other things. 

    My daughter and her husband talked about the rings, made a budget for them. She picked out about four rings she liked and he picked one of them.

    Although she knew it was coming he didn’t tell her when he was going to propose or that he had the ring

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  • 1 month ago

    It could be. Everyone's story is different.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    My grandmother always told me and that was a surprise.  I so long for another proposal.

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  • Dave
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    It shouldn't be.  If I had a girlfriend, I would hope that she drops strong and obvious hints.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't

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  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I would think that in a serious long term relationship, it would be nearly impossible for one person to be so serious as to be considering marriage without the other person knowing it. But I don't understand the idea about couples "picking a date" to get engaged. 

    Consider a conversation that goes: 

    "If I ask you to marry me, will you say yes?"

    "Yes I will."

    And contrast it with a conversation that goes:

    "Will you marry me?"

    "Yes I will."

    Aren't these both essentially the same conversation? Don't both have the same result, mutual agreement on a wish to marry? Couples might choose a date to go public with their engagement, but they are engaged as soon as they agree that marriage is in their future whether or not there's a "ask on bended knee while proffering ring" ritual involved. 

    IMO if a proposal of marriage is a surprise, then the response should be "I couldn't make such a serious commitment without knowing you a lot better." 

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  • 2 months ago

    i think it depends on the couple, everyone is different

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  • Jon
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    If a couple has a discussion that leads to agreement about wanting to get married, then that's the engagement. And since one of the parties has to be the first to bring the subject up, that person can be said to have proposed to, and possibly surprised, the other.

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  • g
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Adults discuss the possibilities and their future together, even if circumstances of the proposal itself is a surprise.

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