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If I didn't have Aspergers syndrome would I still have a problem talking to other people? ?

Or would I have good socializing skills?

4 Answers

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  • Expat
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    There are MANY people who are not on the spectrum who have social anxiety; shyness is as common as having brown hair, I’d say. Of course, having Aspergers makes having social anxiety very understandable, but not having it wouldn’t guarantee anything.  

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  • C
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    That is something that none of us will ever know.  Many, many people who are neurotypical and don't have any diagnosable explanation suffer from social anxiety.  I'm old enough to remember socialising before the internet was accessible to most people and while anxiety seems to be more common now there were still individuals who were fine when talking to trusted, familiar people but who just couldn't get words out when talking to strangers, or who seemed to do alright to observers but actually they were over-thinking it on the inside and would get all worked up afterwards and then disappear from that situation completely convinced that they'd messed things up forever.  It might give you some small comfort to know that there are plenty of neurotypicals who think socialising is some sort of special torture.

    I'm going to go even further and say that being good at socialising is a talent very few people are born with.  It takes both learning and practice.  Parents who are good at socialising AND involved with their children begin training them to make the "right" response AND to reach out in the "right" way from when they're still very young toddlers.  By the time they start school those kids seem like naturals, and maybe some are, but they've been trained hard and will keep on being guided, corrected, chided, and pushed to expand their comfort zone by their parents until they leave home.  The kids of less involved parents or introverted parents have to figure out the rules on their own and endure getting slapped down when they get it wrong.  It's tough and they have no "excuse" to explain that it's nerve-wracking. If your parents move and take you to the other side of the country or worse to another country the "rules" are suddenly different and what was respectful in the old place is rude in the new place!  What's respectful might be something you've never even heard before and people act shocked that you don't know.  It's no wonder some develop anxiety.  So you see, it's not a given you'd be good at socialising since few people are naturals.

    I acknowledge that you have additional difficulties.  You should think of that as an explanation for why you have trouble, but not as an excuse.  An explanation is something you can work around.  It's like any other disability.  It might make it harder and it definitely means that you will need to find your own method of responding to social cues and that you will require more practice to get to the same place but it does not mean that improvement is not possible - if you want to, that is.  If you are comfortable as you are now then that's okay too.  

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  • Mark
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Asperger's syndrome runs the gamut from "not really noticeable" to "very noticeable".  A lot of "high-functioning" people with it, even if they don't UNDERSTAND the niceties of "socializing", learn to do it, and even LIKE it.

    • C
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      That's true. I had a colleague who more or less swallowed Edwardian etiquette manuals to do interacting.  It was his "thing" and he rather liked being (in)famous for it.  Most of the time it worked fine as a strategy and was quite fun, occasionally it was a PIA.

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  • 2 months ago

    It's hard to say but probably yes.

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